10 Harsh Leadership Lessons Learned

[March 13, 2025]  If we were to add up all the leadership lessons from long ago and use that wisdom to better ourselves today, the list would be as high as the moon. However, we can condense them down into a small number. In this article, I consolidate hundreds of lessons down into 10 tough leadership lessons.

I define leadership as the ability to get people to do things they would not ordinarily do. That’s a pretty good definition, and I’ve used it for a long time. But here is a better definition. Great leadership is the ability to get people to do things they would not ordinarily do because they want to. Some lessons matter, and most deal with the mindset of that leader.

Here are 10 tough leadership lessons that will never change.

1. You have to prove yourself every day. Be on your best game today, every day, right now, because what you did great yesterday does not mean that much. Leaders with the most respectable reputations aren’t worth much if they can’t produce today when we need them.
2. Good intentions mean little. Either you do a great job, or you have failed. If you meant well, frankly, nobody cares one way or another. Your intent to do good things will always be brushed aside. As they say, talk is cheap and we don’t care what you want. Measurable action is what counts.
3. Your feelings are irrelevant. How others feel is something you should care about. But, if you’re having a bad day, don’t let it show or affect your job. If you do, everyone will respect you less. Remain the rock in the stream. Be mentally strong. Never show your feelings.  Passion is okay, feelings, no.
4. Get used to cold showers; life is tough. The world is full of personal tragedies and natural disasters. Don’t let them keep you down. Stand back up and be the one who leads the pack.
5. Life is not fair. You’ll get terrible assignments and work with horrible bosses. Use those instances to learn what not to do. Always put forth your greatest effort and do the right thing, even if you know you’ll get no reward or be punished. If you stand for what is morally right, you’ll be rightly admired.
6. No one owes you anything.  You come into this world naked and afraid. Get over it. Be who you are and excel at what is most important. Don’t expect help from others, but if you do get help, then be appreciative.  Be a giver rather than a taker.
7. Other people’s loyalty is beyond your control. Be ready to be part of the team and do those things that care for those who work for you and simultaneously get the job done. Be fair. Have high standards and enforce them consistently. That’s how you encourage loyalty.
8. Success is hard-won and temporary. You’ll find yourself in the loser’s box more often than not. Get used to it. Learn from your losses. And don’t let success go to your head. Success may be temporary but success builds upon itself. Losers focus on their losses, so don’t go there.
9. You will be criticized for everything you do. Those sitting on the sidelines will be the loudest and most critical. Pay little attention to them, for you are the man in the arena.
10. Being busy is not being productive.  An old saying is, “ Work smart, not hard.”  Focus on your goal, and don’t be fooled by unproductive side issues.

Interested in learning more?  Then consider getting a copy of my latest book, “55 Rules for a Good Life.”  See the link below. And thank you!

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Please read my books:

1. “55 Rules for a Good Life,” on Amazon (link here).
2. “Our Longest Year in Iraq,” on Amazon (link here).