By guest blogger Lilou Hoffman
[September 23, 2018] Negotiating skills are both a science and an art. It’s rather like bridging a gap between individuals by finding mutual interests and values. The skilled negotiator helps to find a constructive way to proceed that most individuals couldn’t have found alone. The following three negotiation skills are vital for every successful negotiation.
1. Be prepared
When you are meticulously prepared, your chances of achieving success increase, and you feel more confident before you even begin negotiating.
- Relevant data and clarity
Gather information and related data. If you have more understanding and clarity about your goals, you are able to express yourself constructively.
- Know your counterparts
Once you understand the drives of all parties, such as what they want and why, you can demonstrate your empathy skills by stepping into their shoes. Show the other parties how they benefit and gain their trust.
- Refer back to your plan if you’re lost
If you plan properly, you’re unlikely to compromise and be dissatisfied with the results. It’s easy to go off course during negotiation if you haven’t prepared beforehand. If you have a plan and find the negotiation straying from its purpose, you can reframe the discussion by referring to your plan.
2. Emotional intelligence is key
An understanding of the emotions of others helps too because it gives you an idea of how they will respond in a given situation.
- Build trust
One thing that can jeopardize a negotiation is mistrust. Mistrust makes individuals fear vulnerability, and they don’t open up. When trust is fostered, people feel more open to sharing, and there’s a better chance of success.
- Communicate in the right way
Different people respond to different styles of communication. If you find that the way you communicate is getting in the way, you should be flexible enough to adapt your style to suit the situation.
- Exercise emotional control
When you understand everything about other’s emotional responses, you have more power. Negotiating can trigger some heated emotions hence individuals might become combative. When others lose control, you should remain calm and focus on the goals to keep the discussion on track.
- Listening skills are vital
If you don’t listen properly, you will never become a successful negotiator. Listening carefully to others means you clearly understand what they are saying thus you are able to address their concerns and doubts intelligently.
3. Go for a win/win instead of a win/lose
In some negotiations, the stronger negotiator wins, and the other party fails. This type of negotiation is far less satisfactory than a situation where all parties’ needs are met. In a win/win situation, a synergy is created and people are excited about moving forward, rather than some feeling disappointed because they’ve had to compromise their position.
Creating a win/win can be more difficult and requires more creativity. To reach this kind of solution, you have to understand people’s motivations and find a way to encourage positive discussions that can bring out constructive solutions.
Conclusion
Fundamental principles you must keep in mind when negotiating are being fair, keeping relationships intact and seeking for mutual benefits. You must be able to build rapport and listen carefully to others. When you have these negotiation skills, you’re able to create a solution where everyone benefits.
This is one of those topics that we hear about a lot. What we don’t here is what it takes for a leader (or anyone for that matter) to develop the skills to make it work. Lilou has certainly begun that narrative and she is to be thanked for it. Well done!
Informative. Thanks.
Good info and worthwhile reading your blog article. Thanks Ms Hoffman. Keep up the good work and, yes, let us know if there are other articles out there for us to read that are written by you.
Lilou, you sure hit a home run with this article about negotiation techniques and skills. Like many topics on this leadership website, this is a topic that gets a lot of verbiage bantered around but little substance. I appreciate you adding to my personal knowledge about it. ?
Well said, Dennis. Yes, this article is informative.
Thanks for your feedback!
Lilou. Do you have any other articles you’ve written that I could go to? I like your writing style. Thanks.
Hey thanks Lilou. I also went to the Negotiations.com website and found it informative.
https://www.negotiations.com/ I see they called you a “resident digital marketing guru.” Wow, nice!
Here’s another similar article on the same topic. Both these articles here are pretty good.
https://www.moneycrashers.com/negotiation-techniques-to-score-a-great-deal/
Another opportunity to hear another perspective on leadership. Yes, I agree fully that if you’re a good leader that you should have some negotiating skills. Plus, you need character! If you have these, then you will be successful. That is why people who are too self-centered fail. See Gen. Satterfield’s article from yesterday on that topic.
“Be Prepared.” The Boy Scout motto and the one thing most people simply do not do. Don’t expect those who are negotiators to read what is out there. They might learn too much … ha ha! Great article, Lilou. Thanks.
I agree that emotional intelligence is the key but, like you note, it is not the only thing that makes for acceptable negotiation skills.
Lilou, great topic and some very informative. As part of Gen. Satterfield’s regular readers, note that he only allows interesting and educational articles that deal with leadership topics. Thanks for adding to our community.
You are spot on with this comment, Janna. Thank you for being the first to let Lilou know that we all appreciate guest bloggers here.