[April 18, 2021] My maternal grandmother was fond of saying that we are placed here on this earth to help others. She was a Christian, a mother of four children, and strong-willed. We called her Bigmama, and she was a leader with an apron.
“I won’t tell you how to be a good boy. I’m telling you to be a good boy, and you can surprise me with your good behavior.” – Bigmama
Full of advice for a wayward boy like me, she also helped develop her grandkids’ moral character. Yet, we never took her guidance as something to be avoided. We loved visiting her and grandpa in the small town of Bonita, Louisiana. The town was small; there was no traffic light and only two main streets. Roughly one hundred families lived there.
I wrote about Bigmama on my leadership website on several occasions (see here, here, and here). For example, my favorite piece of her advice was “Don’t screw up.” Typically, she was a bit more cautious with her advice, but I had been caught throwing rocks at passing cars that day. I like to think she didn’t want me to get beaten up.
Several of my favorite pieces of advice were, in part, based on teachings from the Bible. One was that being a good boy is like a shepherd1; he stays behind with his flock and cares for them. Another was that to convince someone that they are doing wrong, you must do right. People believe what they see. Let them see, she said.
During my first combat tour in the Iraq War, what she taught me came flooding back. At one point, I was in charge of more than 4,000 Iraqi construction workers. My job was to get them to do their job.
Working with these Iraqis was not that different from Biblical stories of the shepherd in the field with his flock. My mission was to ensure their safety (insurgents targeted them), provide them with tools and supplies, and make sure they got from point A to point B to build roads, walls, and buildings. Many of the Iraqi Imams told me these were the best days of their lives.
“If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up the men to gather wood, divide the work, and give orders. Instead, teach them to yearn for the vast and endless sea.” – Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, French writer, poet, aristocrat
This sounds a lot like Bigmama.
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- Bigmama liked comparing me to a shepherd, and I liked it as well.
Just a brief comment. My grandmothers, yes both of them, were real women who were strong in body and in mind. They were good at zeroing in on what was right and what was wrong. And, they would tell you, regardless whether you wanted to hear them or not. I’m happy they are a part of my family.
You were lucky. Too many of our family members are out to lunch.
Excellent article on your “bigmama.” As usual, Gen. Satterfield, I enjoy your articles especially when they reach back to your childhood to see the impact so many made on your life.
On occasion, I’ve been privy to the thinking of my grandparents, esp my Grandpapa Smokie. He was a man to be reckoned with. He was big, strong, and powerful of mind as well. He could analyze anything to make sense of it. These are the kinds of kin you want to be around. We are attracted to them in some way that we maybe do not understand but know in our hearts they are there to help us and make us better. That attraction is both deeply embedded in our psyche and in our inborn wants. That is what makes some people better than others in their ability to succeed in life.
Max, once again, great analysis. Keep it up. I like to read your comments.
Hi Nick, haven’t heard from you in a while. I hope you are still reading this – our favorite – blog. Gen. Satterfield, has once again given us something to think about. I like the idea that even much older individuals, even those who have no special obvious talent, can give us some much needed advice and counsel.
My thoughts exactly. Our grandmothers we should be proud of.
Well said, Max and others who have commented. This is a truly good article. Re-read it several times to ensure you have not missed anything.
Excellent article to get my thinking juices flowing this morning. I have liked the several articles where you have drawn in your “bigmama” – an obviously smart, caring woman. I see her in your thumbnail at the sewing machine and wearing her apron. Great pix! I wish that my relatives had imparted such wisdom to me as well.
We all wish we had family that would provide us with more advice. But, I think, we are the ones responsible to go to them to get the advice and not expect them to come to us.
Not to think you have overthought this article but I’m not sure that comparing the Iraqi construction workers to your flock is on target. Just thinking.
Excellent, I like the way you weave your maternal grandmother’s ideas into the learning parts of leadership. We all should note that we can find leadership lessons everywhere, but only if we chose to listen to them will it do us any good at all.
Yes, I agree leadership lessons and life’s lessons as well are everywhere because that is the way a successful society has chosen to arrange itself. I’m not trying to be philosophical here but to tell the story of what is right in front of our eyes.
Lovely, good point Dennis, thanks.
Not many of us will “see” these lessons or what I call opportunities because we have to practice training our minds to truly see. If not, we languish in our ignorance. Strangely many folks desire to languish in their ignorance because it is easy.
This is one of your better posts, well done!
I agree!!!!
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That is why we all keep coming back to Gen. Satterfield’s leadership blog. Me anyway.