[April 26, 2024] Titled Essential Etiquette for Young Men, Brett & Kate McKay feature a website devoted to improving the lives of men. Their works have helped many over the years, and I wanted to highlight their thinking on manhood.
I had envisioned writing my own “Advice for Young Men” in the same way Brett & Kate wrote their article. Much of what they have has links to other articles, and that is okay but requires a bit of extra work and reading on the part of those who want to learn more. I highly recommend this article, as it is essential as a “to-do” list for being a good young man.
“Indeed, a gentleman, in the highest signification of the term, is a noble animal…Employing in the regulation of his own conduct, the strictest standard of propriety, and in his expectations of that of others, the most lenient; cautious in accepting quarrel, more cautious in giving cause for it; lending to virtue …” – Richard Wells, Manners, Culture and Dress of the Best American Society, 1894
The advice of Brett and Kate centers on good manners, or perhaps they could be called “little morals.”
“[G]reat men understood that while it is true that the rules of etiquette change over time and from culture to culture, the underlying principles of all manners remain constant: a respect for others, and a desire to treat all people with honesty and consideration – just as you’d like to be treated.” – Edward John Hardy, Manners Makyth Man
What good manners are not:
- Good manners are not stiff, formal, or awkward.
- Good manners are not ostentatious.
- Good manners are not smug and judgmental.
Why practice good manners:
- Good manners make a positive impression on others.
- Good manners add texture to life.
- Good manners make things in life smoother, more pleasant, and more comfortable for everyone.
- Good manners make other people feel comfortable.
- Good manners ultimately show respect for others.
And now, after this preliminary establishment of the basics, Brett & Kate get down to what the essential etiquette for young men is all about. These are a simple list, but each is linked to a thorough article describing them:
- How to Debate Politics Civilly
- The Dos and Don’ts of Conversation
- How to Avoid Conversational Narcissism
- How to Listen Effectively
- The Art of Small Talk: 5 Questions to Never Ask
- How to Avoid Giving a Backhanded Compliment
- How to Accept a Compliment With Class
- 37 Conversation Rules for Gentlemen From 1875
- How to Write a Letter
- How to Write a Sympathy Note
- How to Write a Thank You Note
- How to Write a Note of Congratulations
- How to Write an Email That Will Get a Response
- Being a Gentleman in the Age of the Internet: 6 Ways to Bring Civility Online
- 3 Ways You Should Never Start a Comment Online
- How to Celebrate with Grace
- How to Lose with Dignity
- A Guide to Sportsmanship
- The Dos and Don’ts of Business Etiquette
- How to Use the Public Restroom Like a Gentleman
- Classroom Etiquette For the College Man
- A Man’s Primer on Funeral Etiquette
- A Gentleman Never Arrives Empty-Handed
- A Man’s Guide to Dining Etiquette and Proper Table Manners
- Dinner Date Etiquette
- How to Be a Gracious Host
- How to Be the Perfect Houseguest
- How to Be a Perfect Party Guest
- How to Be the Perfect Party Host
- How to Shake Hands Like a Man
- How to Make Introductions
- The Importance of Being on Time
- The Reasons You’re Late and How to Always Be on Time
- How and When to Open Doors for a Woman
- How to Apologize
- 10 Ways to Be a Gentleman at the Gym
- Guide to Tipping
- The Unclassified Laws of Etiquette
- I Want You…To Put Away Your Smartphone
- Dressing for Life’s Big Events: How a Man Should Dress for Weddings, First Dates, Religious Ceremonies and More
- Dressing for the Occasion: 60 Second Visual Guide
- How to Dress for Different Meetings
- What to Wear on a First Date
- What to Wear on a First Date: 60 Second Visual Guide
Brett & Kate have done a fine job, much better than most who have written on the subject and very much like what I would have done.
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Please read my books:
Excellent article my friend. I love the article on gym manners
Excellent advice.
Art of Manliness, yes! I’ve read many of their articles too, and I like their ideas. Thankyou, Gen. Satterfield for highlighting them for us. 😎 I like this series. Please publish more like this one.
Gen. Satterfield, thank you for this article and for the new series you are creating to give advice to young men. We all know that they can use it.
Got that right, Good Dog. Gen. Satterfield is all over it. I was hoping that he writes his own book giving advice to young men and slant it toward lessons learned in the US army. Now that would be something I would want to read. In fact, I think many young men would want to read it too. Or perhaps create a podcast on the subject. Either way, I’d like to read more about this.
Reading over the list of recommended list for “essential etiquette” for young men, I find that these are similar to what Gen. Satterfield has been writing about for a long time. Bottom Line, if you are a young man, then learn how to be a GENTLEMAN.
Education begins the gentleman, but reading, good company and reflection must finish him. John Locke
BTW, Brainyquote is a great place to find some darn nice quotes and their site is laid out well. I often get good quotes there. Some site are just too confusing. Thank you Gen. Satterfield for this article and for the new series. BTW, I’m also in love ❤ with your series on “Letters to My Granddaughter.” Those are beautiful. Please don’t stop writing these letters.
https://www.theleadermaker.com/granddaughter-letters/
Here is the link for those new here that takes you directly to ALL these letters.
Gen Z’ers need to read this: The Reasons You’re Late and How to Always Be on Time
Darwin, wow, you are spot on with that comment. Too many young folks today believe the world revolves around them, and wow, are they going to get disappointed when their employer fires them for being late so often. Plus, I’ve seen some college crazies claim that being on time is white racism. What? Now that is crazy. Being on time is racist. Imagine the stupidity that had to go into that line of thinking. Stupidity? Naw. Narcissism. 😁😁😁😁😁
Thank you Gen. Satterfield, this new series of finding “advice for young men” is coming together. At some point soon, I’d like for you to give us your thoughts as well. I look forward to it.
Art of Manliness, they give a very comprehensive guide.
You can also find them on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-art-of-manliness/id332516054
https://the-art-of-manliness.simplecast.com/episodes
This is a great place to start with the podcasts, and thank you Harold for alerting me to them.
Wow, well done! I’m going to have to take some time to go thru this list of recommendations to be a better young man. That is OKAY. Sometimes it does take effort, and that is life. 🤣
Indeed, it does take effort to be a good person. It takes also the aim, or the goal, to be a good person, and that is the very first thing a young man (or anyone) would have to do. Once you have an aim, then you can begin behaving in such a way that your actions support that aim. Like Dr. Jordan Peterson notes, first have an aim. Then base your actions on that aim. You then have something to work toward, it sets the parameters of your behavior, those you hang around, and the conditions under which you live. That is one of the important pieces of advice that I would give too, and Gen. Satterfield supports it.
Point taken, thanks PS. Of course, you are correct, and for those who are Dr. Jordan Peterson fans, like me and Gen. S., then that comes as no surprise.
Aim is first, or what you do has no purpose. 🎯
Nailed it, Cow Blue. ✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔ 🤦♀️
Very nice! Have not heard of this AOM before. Thanks for alerting me to it.