[June 19, 2024] I’ve read about how to date over the years and found those stories witty, helpful, and also intriguing. The common question is, “How do you find the right person for you?” Put another way, “How do you find the love of your life?” Both are similar, but perhaps not the right way to get the best advice for young men looking for dating advice.
I found Dr. Jordan Peterson’s take on that question the best in all my reading. He says, “That’s a stupid question?” The better question is, “How do I make myself into the perfect date?” Now, that gets to the real center of the issue. If we expect the “right” person to come to us and fall in love with us, with all our defects, we will be waiting a long time.
I don’t think we should focus on what we want in a potential partner. The answer should be that if we ask ourselves if we offered everything I could to that potential partner, who would I be? The answer for young men is that they should be the person that women want. So, what do those women want?
Women want men in good physical shape, and it would be all the better if it showed that the man had taken good care of his physical appearance through exercise and proper diet. That also includes staying clean, well-groomed, and healthy. That is a minimum.
Also, women want to see a man as being productive. He has a good job with a reliable income; he is generous with others (especially his family, friends, and neighborhood); he has some status in his workplace that is earned through accomplishments; he shows leadership abilities wherever he is, and can attract people to him by his demeanor.
They also like to know the man is honest, tells the truth (although with some generous diplomacy), is courteous, kind, helpful, and loyal to her. He must also show that he can control his emotions and not run to the next pretty face he sees. Women must know that a good young man will stick around with her, even when her life is not going well.
His reputation must be one of reliability and trustworthiness. His family and friends should speak highly of him. This is difficult because it takes time to build an earnest reputation so that people can go to him and know that he will help them and not ridicule them but offer genuine and useful assistance or guidance.
The young man can then do that with her and do so in a consistent manner. This means learning what women want, like dancing. Learn to dance. That cuts much of the competition out with other men because most don’t like dancing and are arguably unwilling to learn.
To offer women what they need and want, the more people will come to be with you. This is why the question that young men should be asking is, “How can I be the best possible partner for a woman?”
“Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.” – Matthew 10:16, KJV
This remarkable passage from Matthew means that despite our being harmed by others, we are still willing to be part of the game of life. Ask women out on dates, but first, get your act together and know yourself. That is good advice for young men seeking women.
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Excellent article my friend on Dating. As a single man who hopes to marry one day.I have found many great books and articles on this topic. However I found the best advice was from married couple who are still on their honeymoon after years of marriage. Honestly ; man that willing to provide for her are great. To me communicate is
Critical. Let me explain. If that’s not done honesty you may assume she or he ok. You assume your wife after workout you bring her a soda. She says she wanted water.
That’s why Dating is so complex. Getting to know a person who must communicate your true feelings. It’s to late find out you married the wrong person.
Too late for me, wish I’d known this as a young man.
You and me both. 🎉
Maybe not. You can always pass this along to your children or grandchildren. Or to young men who you work with like in the Boy Scouts (well, not boy scouts anymore thanks to bad leadership).
Thanks Gen. Satterfield, great to see that you are continuing this series and I”m looking for more.
Women want to find a man who is “productive.” And that is not always easy for them. So what they do is look for markers like nice clothes, a new car, a nice place to live, a clean body, etc. But they want someone – a good man – to be able to take care of her when she gets pregnant and the first few months after the baby is born. Whether a woman plans to have a child or not, that idea is still there because it is instinctual. And, there is nothing any wildly progressive leftist woman can do to change it. he he he he he
So true, and they are dependent upon a good man at the same time. 👍
Gen. Satterfield, thanks by the way. I wasn’t sure if you were continuing with this series or not. Now that you are back with “Advice for young men” I’m also forwarding them to a young man I know who is struggling just being a young man. The other articles are also helpful. Maybe you can put a link to the other articles at the end of each to make it easy to navigate all of them or create a tab on your website like you did for ‘letters to my granddaughter.’ Just a thought. Thank you.
…. and Gen. Satterfield is da man to go to for advice for young men. Sir, thank you for your new series that helps not just young men but all men. Oh, and get a dog.
Get a good dog. ⋆˚🐾˖°
“Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.” – Matthew 10:16, KJV
Hey, finally some foundational advice for dating in the 21st century … and it is not that different than anything over the past few decades. What I like about what Gen. Satterfield has given us here, is what follows his writings from the beginning of his website. The main thing is to know what humans want and be that person who can attract folks to you to meet those needs. That way is how you can attract women but be sure that you are ready to answer the question, “How can I make myself the perfect date?”
😀😀😀😀😀
Yep, nailed it. “How can I make myself the best date for women?”
“To offer women what they need and want, the more people will come to be with you. This is why the question that young men should be asking is, “How can I be the best possible partner for a woman?”” – Gen. Doug Satterfield
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This is how to become the man you need to be. When, as a man, you learn to be the BEST partner for a woman, then you are becoming a real man who others would want to be around. What is the first thing that a real man would be? How about just being clean. Wow, what a feature.
Yeah, imagine that.
I’m no young man, but your advice is spot on.