[May 13, 2016] A young man attending college in his first year and the only child of loving parents, and also close friends of mine, regularly disrespected his father and mother. The parents had secretly saved for their child’s education but decided not to use it as intended because of their child’s disrespectful behavior. A big lesson for leaders; disrespect of others will cost you.
“Say not to them a word of disrespect.” – Al-Isra
Their child “Jack” never knew the price he paid for a college education and also sadly the disappointment his parents had in his actions toward them. My friends always were polite and honorable to their son but would not pay an advanced education since they saw little value it would provide toward helping their son in correcting his poor manners.
The example of Jack however is small compared to the many daily disrespectful behaviors and its impact that we encounter from our bosses, peers, subordinates, and just about most people we don’t even know that well. Disrespect can be in the form of ignoring us, gossiping, bullying, unnecessary criticism, discrimination, and we could name more but you get the picture. Depending on the type and duration, disrespect can lead to depression, eating disorders, sleeping disorders, PTSD, and physical ailments.1
Some forms of disrespect, like discrimination based on race, gender, and religion are prohibited by law in many countries. But, as we know, a person’s thoughts are not affected by the passage of laws; their behavior only slightly so. Fundamentally, disrespect is power-based behavior and is more likely in a culture (or subculture) that condones it.
Leadership means being aware of disrespect and its many forms but more importantly a leader’s job in taking care of people means that a positive environment must be established. There is no excuse for leaders to do otherwise regardless of their position or responsibilities. This applies to the workplace, in the family, among friends, or anywhere.
Jack graduated from college and is now employed in Manhattan with a great paying job. But he holds a grudge against his parents for not helping him more. What he doesn’t realize is that the cost of his behavior goes far beyond what he sees.
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