[March 25, 2023] This article is taken from Drs. Jordan Peterson and Jean Piaget, both psychologists with brilliant insights to the human mind. Here is what they say to parents.
As a wealthy parent, you could give your children everything. But what you deprive them of the most is deprivation and adventure and of their destiny. You remove from them the requirement of life to wrestle with the world, that which makes their lives meaningful. Do not deprive your children of the opportunity of deprivation.
There is an undeniable connection between responsibility and life’s meaning. And this is clear and observable. Those in my military commands with the most responsible positions also had the most meaningful experience. This was the opposite of what one might think because with responsibility came extra work and long work hours, stress, fear of failure, complex problems to solve, the strains of duty, and the endless problems Soldiers experience; these were unmitigated depravations.
The message of adopting responsibility is not one we are receiving too well anymore. Life is wonderful, but it is also unquestionably composed of suffering. To push through those bad times, you need a sustaining meaning to tie you over while you suffer and are betrayed.
The question is, “Where is the most reliable place to find that meaning?” One answer is hedonism. Another might be cynicism, anarchism, and the wild life that accompanies throwing off all constraints. There is some attractiveness to those ways.
Although better if you watch people respond in times of crisis. With the responsibilities they have undertaken to form relationships, clean up their family, and establish tight bonds, they can then take on major burdens and make the necessary sacrifices in their life. That is where they get all their meaning.
Your children should indeed gain from their own experiences. But, when you provide them with everything, you deprive them of everything meaningful. Nothing is worse than witnessing these children as mere shells of what they could have been if only they had the opportunity for deprivation.
For a greater explanation and many examples, please read my latest book, 55 Rules for a Good Life.
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Please read my books:
Yep, this is what I expect from Gen. Satterfield. Sometimes shocking, always on point. Making us think in different ways is the name of the game. Consider all viewpoints, then use your best judgment for your decision. All about being a good person. So, read Gen. Satterfield’s “55 rules for a good life” and u will not be disappointed.
Got my copy of his book and I’ve read it now three times and get more from it each reading. 👍👍👍👍
Highly recommended.
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Great comments in the forums today.
This article has an interesting take on the idea that parents should teach humility to their children. Of course, for those following contemporary culture, this is NO longer the rule. Now we teach kids that there is nothing better than them, they are superior to everyone, and their feelings matter a great deal, even if they change their feelings day to day or minute to minute. No wonder we have so many weak, and ineffectual young people. Teaching kids to be weak is a sin.
I was surprised by today’s article. Thanks, Gen. Satterfield. Oh, I watched a couple of shows in “12 O’clock High.”
Yeah, Veronica, same here. I’m on Season One, Ep 6.
https://www.aerovintage.com/2022/05/10/filming-the-tv-series-12-oclock-high-at-chino-airport-1964-1966/
Gen. Satterfield …. made me think today. Thank you.
Oh, just a quick note that I finally finished your newest book and loved it. Keep up the great work and when you can, please write another book.
“55 Rules for a Good Life,” on Amazon.
https://www.amazon.com/55-Rules-Good-Life-Responsibility/dp/1737915529/
Just a quick note as I dash off to the doctor’s office for my annual checkup. Yes, while I never thought of helping our children by making them experience deprivation, it makes a lot of sense. This is similar to, on a smaller level, the mother telling their children “no” in the grocery store, that they may not have any candy or soda pop. Deprive your children the right way and they will appreciate you for it later in their life.
The mama bird pushes their chicks out of the comfortable nest to make them fly away. If not, predators will come and eat them.
“We’re not the only deer in the forest.” —‘Bambi’. Remember! Thanks AT. The mama bird is my hero.
The measure of a man is what he does with power. Plato
And that power means to teach properly your children and others too.
Boys and men need to understand what awaits them if they are week. What awaits them is not good for them, their families, or their communities.
… one of my personal favorite quotes. Thank you Plato for the reminder.
Excellent article. Made me think!!!
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“The question is, “Where is the most reliable place to find that meaning?” One answer is hedonism. Another might be cynicism, anarchism, and the wild life that accompanies throwing off all constraints. There is some attractiveness to those ways.” …. and I might add that is exactly what many of them are doing. That is why we see BLM and antifa riots in our Democrat run cities. Destruction is seen as a good because it, somehow, reduces white racism. They ignore, however, their own racism.
You will never convince them, Willie, so don’t bother. They will learn the hard way at some point that their lives based on hedonism will not work out well as a medium to long-term strategy of life.
Very interesting twist of what one might think is common sense child rearing ways. Do not deprive your children of deprivation. In other words, let them fly from the nest and experience the world …. else, they will be some shut-in, alcoholic with no meaning in their life.
College is a good time to make sure they understand poverty. While they attend school, the must have no money for anything other than shelter and food. And they go to college classes with barely enough clothes on their backs. That way, they understand deprivation and will not take their education for granted. This is exactly the opposite of today.
The snowflake generation rules!!!!
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Opportunities for deprivation passes them by while they closet themselves in a room with coloring books and coolaid.