[January 22, 2023] If you’ve been bullied, you must realize that bullying develops over time and that you must be wise enough to recognize it in its early stages. The solution is to step forward against bullying early in its developing stages when it is not so destructive. Don’t be victimized by a bully.
People have a strong tendency to ignore early bullying behavior, often purposefully or are insufficiently perceptive enough to see it. Then, the bully is emboldened because of a failure to deal with it right then and there.
Be ready to say what you have to say to a potential bully immediately. Be sure what you say is the truth; no deceit or lying because the bully will know. Look them directly in the eye, point out what you believe they are doing and do so in the most firm, calm voice that you can muster. This makes the bully more self-aware and they will often back off and apologize.
“It is not virtuous to be victimized by a bully, even if that bully is oneself.” – Dr. Jordan B. Peterson
Part of dealing with a bully is understanding yourself, your strengths especially, but also what makes you weak and what fears you possess. This takes a bit of courageous conscious thought, a degree of figuring out what you want from life and being able to say what your future holds. This self-awareness is not something quickly gained because it takes serious effort. Better to be aware than to be a worm who ignores the early bird in the morning.
This idea of knowing yourself as the beginning of a better life is as old as the human race. Practice facing those things that you fear. Fear of the bully is a problem that you must deal with properly. Stand up for yourself. Moreover, learn to stand up for others, those who are weak and afraid. That will put you on the right path in your life. Tell the bully the truth without looking at the consequences, which also makes for a great adventure.
If you run from the bully, he will go after you; what else is he to do but chase down his prey? Stand your ground; there is no other real choice. You are tougher than you think you are.
Don’t be victimized by a bully!
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Yep, don’t be victimized by a bully. Easier said than done but some insight here on the development of bullying. Schools need to heed this advice.
When I was in sixth grade a bully told me to meet her after school and at that time she would beat the crap out of me. All day long all I could think of was how I was going to survive the beating. Two of my friends vowed to stand by me. The bell rang for dismissal and I went to our meeting place and waited. Of course none of my fiends showed up. The bully did show up with six of her friends. My knees shook as they approached. I don’t know where my courage came from but I announced that she couldn’t be much of a fighter since she needed the odds to be seven to one. I turned my back and went home. To my surprise no blood was shed that day. The next day she announced that no one was ever to bother me…..ever.
Wow, impressive story of courage. Armywife, you are more aware of reality than most.
Thank you!
I’m a new fan of Armywife. ❤❤❤
Thank you!
According to StopBullying.gov, the effects of school bullying can follow children into adulthood. Possible effects include:
– Emotional or mental health issues, such as clinical depression and anxiety
– Changes in hobbies or enjoyment of certain activities
– Physical health complaints
– Changes in eating and sleeping habits
– Decrease in academic performance, including lower GPA, test scores, and school attendance
Learn how to recognize bullying. But the most effective strategy to prevent childhood bulling is to teach kids HOW to be strong.
Nick, you’re right , of course but that is not how our schools are taking on the problem. Most schools define anything we don’t like from another person as bullying and that is not the case at all. We need to first teach kids how to be strong (I agree with you and Gen. S on that) but keep teaching strength. Schools typically prioritize reporting the bully. That usually does not work well and only creates greater animosity. If kids are strong, they are less likely to be bullied and if bullied they can handle it.
Gen. Satterfield, could you write more on this topic? I’m sure that if you flushed out this article into a mini-series, that many of us would be greatly appreciative.
I second that recommendation.
Very helpful and informative Gen. Satterfield. Thanks!
Here is an example of Pennsylvania tackling the bullying problem. Classic. And it is failing.
https://www.education.pa.gov/Schools/safeschools/bullying/Pages/default.aspx
Gen. Satterfield is pointing out that the real way of preventing bullying rather than reacting to bullying is to make ourselves stronger. Being stronger, more willing to stand up against bullying early, and knowing our strengths and weaknesses is the real solution.
Hi Red, great to have you back on Gen. Satterfield’s leadership website. We are still looking forward to your next article. Just a note that I”m a huge fan of yours and love the way you write. Please give us another look at the failed policies of Baltimore City and other large cities.
What Are the Best Ways to Prevent Bullying in Schools?
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/what_are_the_best_ways_to_prevent_bullying_in_schools
This ‘woke’ article shows us that bullying is now defined as anything we just don’t like that is happening to us.
Right! Excellent point. 😎
A comment from Jerome Smith that is probably overlooked by schools.
Key takeaway from this article is that schools are “mandated” to have anti-bullying policies but bullying is INCREASING. What’s up with that?
Teacher unions are against “bullying” but it’s okay to give kindergarteners cross-sex harmones and let them dress up in the opposite sex, call them “cat” or whatever pronoun that a kid demands, and ignore the high achievers. Teacher unions are the cause of more bullying than any other in our schools because they want to have a say in what school administrators say and do.
Good one, Gen. Satterfield. I might add here that if new readers to your blog want to find out more about how you think and your basic philosophy of life, then they can read your book “55 rules for a good life”. And that will help them personally, as well, and put them onto a better path in life.
Don’t be victimized by a bully. Now that is bound to get the attention of school teachers …. NOT. They aren’t interested in really tackling the problem, just making noise about doing so. And that is coming from me, a HS teacher.
TJ, good comment. I’m with you on this one. Bullying has exploded just as schools have gone after “bullying.” I wonder if they are the cause of bullying instead of the force standing against it.
Must be the teacher unions again solidifying their position against children.