[March 5, 2016] The thing my friends and I feared more than anything else while growing up, except our parents disapproval, was that we might get an ole fashioned ass wuppin’. We feared it not because someone might physically beat us so thoroughly that we couldn’t walk but because it meant we were caught doing something so stupid that truly hurt someone else. An ass wuppin1 was delivered to only teach an important lesson.
And so us boys, as we grew up, could expect a few ass wuppins that were designed to be remembered and wow did we remember them. Reminiscing with childhood friends once turned to the subject and how those wuppins changed some of our careless and destructive behaviors. Sometimes it was delivered by our parents but more likely it was delivered by older boys who knew better than let us get away with doing a wrong; usually on someone else. I once got an ass wuppin when some older boys saw me trying to smoke a cigarette; I was 8 years old.
Why do I even bring this up? As I talk with young college students today none have admitted to me that they ever got one. In fact most were aghast that I even knew of concept of an ass wuppin. It seems that any behavior today is acceptable; anything at least that doesn’t “hurt anybody.” So, smokin’ weed, doing drugs, sex with many partners, and a host of such activities are acceptable and expected by most. Maybe unjustly, not long ago, you might get an ass wuppin for it … maybe justly.
The lesson here for leaders is that the wrong kinds of behavior should have consequences. Those consequences can be rather mild like a counseling session where the guilty party has their bad behavior explained. Or, strong consequences. While common in the military, outside it rarely is anything done. No one will even discuss behavior (including talk or inaction) that has negative consequences for others. If not, later it can lead to even worse behaviors.
People need boundaries to be set especially when they are young. Those who have never had their behaviors challenged often grow up highly sensitive to others who challenge them later in life. Oversensitive reactions to other people is so commonplace that it has become a drag on businesses when they cannot find well-rounded employees. Furthermore, people need their boundaries set early in life so they understand what is good for them and for others. We are happier, more fulfilled emotionally, and satisfied with life when we know where our limits are.
The job of those willing to provide leadership is to help show people where their boundaries are located. Today, good leadership in this area is mostly lacking.
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- Ass wuppin’: also known as an “old fashioned ass whopping,” beating, hard spanking, etc. A few decades ago, they also called it “getting the tar beat out of you.”