[November 25, 2016] I’m always amazed at the number of people I meet that use the excuse that they can’t do it (just name the behavior) for any number of reasons. When leaders tell me they can’t do something it is especially shocking and frustrating. I come from a “can do” military culture and while the military may be a bit overaggressive at times we, nonetheless, get a lot of things done.
I was talking with a group of young college students this past week on a local campus near my home in New York City. Encouraging people to do things they have doubts about is one of my personal goals; a little push by someone their senior often gets a younger person moving along a path to greater things.
But I ran into a brick wall with a particular group of students who would not be persuaded to pursue additional schooling at a nearby college to improve their formal education credentials. It was not a matter of having the time or the money because they had it, wanted it more, and could afford more formal education; it’s just that they were convinced they would not do well.
I heard ‘I can’t do it” so many times that it seemed like déjà vu each time I counseled one of these young folks. I had to ask myself if it was some identity crisis, a lack of sufficient self-confidence, or something else. I’m no psychologist but I do know people pretty well and I had hit what seemed like an immovable object.
While I never got beyond the excuses, it nevertheless reminded me of so many people I’d worked with over the years who could not get up the personal strength to do something they desired. And it’s not just young folks who use the ‘I can’t do it” excuse. More and more I speak with people of all ages and backgrounds who are reluctant to move to something they want.
Is America experiencing a culture change that affects people’s ability to make good decisions for themselves? Decisions they can and do make but not ones good for themselves. That’s why I’m doing what I do. I provide an “intervention” of sorts and I will continue to do so. Good thing I don’t charge for my coaching.
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