[August 1, 2016] One of the best pieces of education I received after being promoted to senior rank to Flag officer was that “Some people will love you for who you are and some people will hate you for who you are.” Human nature for what it is means that leaders will attract many people simply for being a leader and others will reject that same person for the same reason.
My military aide was a senior lieutenant, combat veteran, and very smart. On his first day as my aide, I gave him the same advice; since he was to be with me constantly. His association with a General Officer meant that he would also be both loved and hated for simply being an aide to a senior leader. He was stunned that anyone would make judgments about his character based on a position in the military that he held.
That’s why I gave him the warning that he best be always on guard for what he said and what he repeated. He would be hearing many things said by some of the most senior military leaders in the United States and some foreign countries and would, by necessity, have to keep that information confidential. What he heard said by leaders was to be strictly discussed only with me as his supervisor. This would be part of the reason he would be hated by a few of the rank and file troops.
A look at the current U.S. presidential race will offer us up another example of this basic rule of human nature. Both Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are fiercely loved by some and hated by others. I would give an educated guess that if we ask anyone of those with strong emotions why that were the case, very few would be able to provide a solid, logical answer that was based on its merits.
Emotions drive humans in mysterious ways; some of those we can predict, others not. It is only human to not like the fact that some people will hate you for your leadership position. Some leaders try to compensate and mistakenly attempt to please everyone; to be popular. The results are often not very good.
One myth is that leaders need to be popular to get things done.1 I personally know two senior leaders who tried to be popular and please everyone. That directly led to their downfall.
The lesson for leaders is that they should be prepared for others to love and hate them and that there is danger in both.
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