[September 28, 2017] I was approached yesterday by a group of young military veterans attending a local college to ask if I had any advice on how to address the recent surge in disrespect of people across this nation. My answer was that the solution is in the long-term and not about those who now show disrespect to us.
The issue of respect has been in the forefront of the news coverage over the past few days after U.S. President Donald Trump “tweeted” his disdain for NFL football players not standing for the U.S. National Anthem. A number of American football players along their coaches and staff chose to sit, kneel, or not attend the national anthem at their games, generating a considerable controversy.
The veterans’ concern was that they thought it important to be a leader on this issue rather than sitting casually by where their actions would be misinterpreted. They wanted to be clear on how to show others respect but at the same time wanted others to respect their patriotism, as well as their fellow men and women in uniform.
There is no easy way to make this happen, of course, and for a variety of reasons. First, respect is culturally and subculturally based. What happens in one culture to show respect can have the opposite effect in another. Second, the growing mental hypersensitivity of our young today means both a decline in the variety of actions that can be taken to show respect and a stronger negative response for not getting the answer right. And third, our political representatives are consciously distorting the facts around what constitutes respect, disrespect, and the intention of others.
Such a toxic brew of hyper emotion, political irresponsibility, privileged attitudes, and insensitivity is bound to generate a large outpouring of hate and animosity.1 Good leaders in this situation are overwhelmed by poor leaders and those veterans could see that their intervention would not be taken in a positive light.
What can student leaders do to make things better for all students and professors at these colleges and universities?
- Acknowledge to yourself and like-minded friends of the fact that it will take a great amount of moral courage to stand up for what is right and you will be on the receiving end of a great deal of animosity.
- Take stock in others who are good folks who possess the resilience and hardiness that it takes to see this problem through to the end. This will be solved only over the long term.
- Standards of behavior need to be said with absolute clarity. There is an unending list of things we can personally do to show respect. Taking the common methods and consistently sticking to them are the best short-term tactic.
- If you have not already put together an expansive network of people where you go to college (or work, play, etc.) then get busy meeting people and talking to them. People should know you and your friends.
- Volunteer to be part of any group that has the mission that helps others and that are known for respecting others. Be aware that a few of these groups are fronts for violence.
- Practice respectful behavior (good listening, positive attitude, helpfulness, showing gratitude, sincerity, helping others, etc.) with your friends and family. Practice it always and under less-than ideal circumstances.
- Avoid uncontrolled political discussions until you have the time and experience to handle it properly.
This is only the beginning. American society needs to heal itself and good leadership means being part of the solution. We can be a part it and should be anxious to do so but this current problem will fade slowly. Persistence is the key; frustration and lashing out is not the answer and will only make things worse. Never fall back on appeasement, giving up, or losing one’s courage.
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- U.S. Presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton is one of the leaders who is rushing to boost her popularity with deceit, distortions, and dishonesty over perceived threats to the respect of our country. See her comments (link here). This is, indeed, a sad commentary on a person who was nearly elected as the president of the most powerful country in the world. Her actions speak of the travesty we are seeing in so many of our elected politicians today. She is only one of many.