[October 4, 2023] “For the hundredth time, Douglas, stop picking your nose while eating.” Mom was a stickler for good manners because she was interested in civilizing us kids. She knew that well-mannered children who say “please” and “thank you” and know how to shake hands, present a genuine smile, and listen politely to adults, then adults will want to be around us and help us make our lives better. The fact that my Mom could see this was a miracle for us. She said, “Good manners are God’s way of helping you.” That was true.
I learned to keep my mouth shut when eating and to not wash the food down with my drink. And use a handkerchief if I had to sneeze, which happened since I had so many allergies. There were other manners, like don’t interrupt adults when they are talking, sharing your toys even with your stupid cousins, saying “I’m sorry” like you meant it when you did something wrong, don’t say that girls are fat or have cooties, opening the door for your mother and other adult women (and don’t fight your brother if he gets to the door first), and don’t spit into the trash can (when others are looking).
I did my best to behave respectably, saying “yes sir” and “no sir” to show respect and admiration to the elders and not let my emotions get the best of me. I learned that good manners were a way to charm the adults, not in a manipulative way, and this was a good deal for the adults and me. But to be accepted by adults by using manners was more than I could imagine. Looking back, I now see that manners were a step into a disciplined life where I could make better choices and to sacrifice today for a better tomorrow.
And Mom worked with me to pronounce words “like you see spoken on TV news stations.” She would say, “Talk like an educated man.” Like many dads in the Deep South, my Dad had little faith in formal education. He believed that’s where a promising career comes into play: learning to act right, be the right man for the mission, and let others see you do a good job. Be a man for others and help teach others with the respect they deserve. It was Mom who warned us never to cuss, use slang, or cave into the Southern drawl, so many of us picked up on the street corners where the delinquents and, in her words, where the “hoodlums” hung out.
Sunday morning in church was our chance to show off the manners our parents taught us. And both Mom and Dad were closely watching how we behaved. I knew they were watching me. It was like a school test but the grade was either pass or fail. You did a good job at it or not, and if you were good, you might get a bigger piece of pie after dinner. “Good morning, Pastor John; how are you?” I could say politely. He would rub my head, say that I must be a good boy, and ask if I wanted to sing in the choir. “No, thank you, sir!” Always say “sir” when speaking with a grown man. Dad let me know that, and so far, I was doing just fine, and I didn’t sing in the church choir.
Dad was a stickler for showing respect for others, and using “sir” was his biggest rule, so much so that it irritated me. I was a little disagreeable as a kid, which was not helpful. One day, out of frustration when he told me to say “sir,” I overused it multiple times in every sentence, but he never let on that I was trying to goad him into saying something. He let it so. And I still use ‘sir’ when speaking with adults as a sign of respect. It works.
Sir, I still have my Southern accent. Darn, it’s hard to get rid of it completely.
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NOTE: See all my letters here: https://www.theleadermaker.com/granddaughter-letters/
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Excellent series, as I have commented before. Please continue. Each one is so entertaining and sometimes funny. Although I’m not sure you thought those evernts were funny when you were a kid going thru it.
Continued, lovely, informative, entertaining letters from Gen. Satterfield to his Granddaughter. She doesn’t know it yet, but she is one lucky girl.
This is Gen. Satterfield in action!!!!!!!
Sir, you have yourself an outstanding introduction to this series “Letters to My Granddaughter.” I think it is spot on. Let us know if you are going to put this into book form. And, also, please keep integrating your family into these stories of your childhood.
Red, great to hear from you again. And thanks for the comment. I haven’t decided to make these “letters” into a book. I think I need more ideas first.
My friend great article for your granddaughter. “How did I get here” . This question is still going on today. Bad choices in life, ie. job,marries, relationship, family. The reply now is “How am I going to get out “.
David in the Bible had the same question when he took another man wife lad with her ,when she became pregnant David tried to hid his sin. He had the husband killed in battle. What done in the dark will come to light. When question by prophet Samuel of the David’s actions, the question brings to light David’s reply It was I .I’m sorry God, forgive me for my bad discussion. God forgive him,but the sin act lead to the son being still born. How did I get here.
Mr. Eddie, you are right and the Bible explains much. And one of the main points of the value of the Bible is that it explains why we are here. We are made in the image of God. So be careful what you do, because you are blessed. Don’t throw that away on a whim.
Gen. Satterfield, please please keep this series going. I find your stories funny, sad, happy, tragic, and also inspiring.
A quick side note for those reading these letters. Today’s letter is designed to be the first letter of all letters. And, by that same logic, not all letters are in a particular order. Dates are scrambled a bit, and that is my intent.
Gen. Satterfield, I kind of figured that latter part out already. Thanks for the clarification. 😎
Good points.
Sir, I wish you all the best for you and your family, and your granddaughter who is the intended target for your letters. I know you well enough to know that these letters are actually for all your grandkids, and yes your great grandkids too. Like you said in your first book “Our Longest Year in Iraq” (2021), you wrote the book so that your grandchildren would know what you and your unit did during the beginning of the war, because historians cannot be trusted to get it right. Too many political historians today and they are completely untrustworthy as is our universities. What you wrote is the real deal. Keep up writing these letters. BTW, what is your granddaughter’s name, if that is possible to give out?
Well said, The Kid. Just what I was thinking too. I’m not sure how long this series is going to last but I can see 👀 that it still has legs to run.
The Kid, good memory. This book is also my favorite. I’ve read it four times and each read I get more and more from the book. There are not just a story per page but stories buried into each page that is not always so obvious. Read Gen. Satterfield’s books and his articles, but these letters to his granddaughter too.
Wow, another “Letters to my granddaughter.” Gen. S., I am enjoying this series more and more with each letter. I think your letter writing is getting better. What I like best is that each letter has more than one story.
Nailed it, samuel.
Sir, love the intro …………..
“Laying in the dirt on my back, filthy, sweaty, head spinning, with terrible pain in my left shoulder, I thought, “How the heck did I get here?” It was sometime early in the morning, just at sunrise, but it was still cool, dusty, smelly, and with no breeze at all. A big black man with a huge smile and bright white teeth asked if I was in pain. “What?” I asked, still not with it. He said, with a booming voice of concern, “Sir, you got tripped up and hit the dirt real hard. You hurt anywhere?” Just then, the pain came stampeding back, and my shoulder was on fire and sagging in a bizarre way. “Good God, sir, I think you dislocated your shoulder; it looks real bad.””
CHEERS
💖💖💖
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Great stories deserve a great read.
Yep, and that is why I’m a long-time fan of reading Gen. Satterfield’s blog. He is great. And now I’m finding out what made him that way.
Me too.
We are all very happy that Gen. Satterfield is writing these letters. I am getting a good picture of an upbringing that was pretty typical 50+ years ago. My father was brought up in that generation. The competition for any job was fierce and you had to be fully prepared. If you weren’t tough and mentally driven, then you were a failure. If you dropped behind, no one was there to pick you up. You just fell behind. I’m honored to now read what made a General who he is. From one mother to another (mothers here reading this), pay close attention. You will learn a lot about boys.
Gen. Satterfield, I know others are saying the same thing but I just wanted to add my two cents worth that this is the best series you’ve written so far. Please put them into a book. You’ll sell as a best seller.
Gen. Satterfield, just loving your letters. I’ve now decided to do the same for my kids and putting these letters (handwritten) into a box in my closet. When they are adults, they get to read them.
Why wait, Forrest, read it to them today, one at a time, and slowly. Let them ask questions and do your best to answer. That is the point that Gen. Satterfield is getting at. He wants his granddaughter (grandkids all) to know more about him and what made him who he is and why he did certain things a certain way. Let them read your letters now. ❤ They will love your for it.
Plus your kids will know where they are and what they contain so they can go back and re-read them again at a later date. Keep these letters “to my granddaughter coming,” Gen. S. And BTW, great books you’ve written. My favorite is “55 rules for a good life” that is how you have a good life for yourself and teaching it to others is good. I hope you have an updated version to take into account the woke ideology that exploded since you published this one in 2022.
👍👍👍👍👍
Stacey and Hal, thanks ….excellent input for Gen. Satterfield.
I’m going to let them read mine.
Same here but they need to be mature enough for the letters to sink into their minds. Well, maybe not.
Well said, HAL.