[January 12, 2024] As a kid, I wasn’t concerned about sharing my toys (I had so few that sharing was easy), but I had one personality around age 13 or 14 that concerned my parents. It took me years to fix. I didn’t recognize this childhood problem until I learned how to deal with it the hard way. At 13 years old, I entered Junior High, and, like so many young folks, this was a time of stress that I’d never before experienced. While I was not fond of school (actually, I hated it), I had an attraction to the sciences. Part of the reason, I believe, was my conscientiousness, hard work and focus, but only if I was interested in the subject matter.
One day, a teacher wanted us to learn how to sew using a needle and thread, so naturally, I was uninterested. I was not interested because sewing was “girl’s work” in my view. Little did I realize my sissy homework would give me one of the biggest lessons of my life and push me toward maturity. In the classroom, we were instructed to cross-stitch on a pre-printed pattern. My project was two Peacocks facing each other.
Much to my surprise, I enjoyed the rhythm of sewing and the aesthetic color arrangement on the cloth. I’d done some crude paintings in my childhood, which had a similar feel. Surprisingly, I found my Mom working on my project one evening. She was just trying to help me. I didn’t realize it, and I was rude to her, saying she was “doing it all wrong.” Her stitching was genuinely excellent, of course, but not with the colors I wanted. I told her so. I failed to share my project with my Mom as a responsible young boy should have done.
For the first time in my life, I made my Mom cry. I’d insulted her terribly, and my behavior showed how ungrateful, arrogant, spiteful, and bitter I was. Immediately recognizing what I did, this became the moment I started to become a man. I’d done what no strong boy or man would ever do: hurt his mother. And I knew it in an instant. And while I’d failed my first test of becoming a man, I would never forget that moment, and from that point forward, I pledged never to disappoint my Mom again. When a boy fails his mother, there can be no greater life disappointment.
Sharing your life’s mission with others is one of those things a good man will do. Besides providing for them, which is vital, he should bring his family into his life, sharing the good and protecting them from the bad. That way, there are no secrets or unpleasant surprises. I’d had an outdoor life up to Junior High and lived in what someone once called “Hicksville,” a pejorative term. It describes a place with no action and in the middle of nowhere. But I spent my time camping, fishing, hunting, and taking on odd jobs. I knew everyone in town. But now I was living in a small city, going to a large school, where my neighbors locked their doors, and you don’t know your neighbors; a real cultural shocker after living my life previously in small-town America. I was physically maturing, and the hormones were stirring. And there were many gorgeous women, actually girls, around the school. I’d nearly forgotten about being an Army man since there were so many moving parts of life. I was interested in getting along with my new friends but not paying attention to myself. My goal of joining the Army started to fade.
Junior High was tough. I attended four junior highs in three years. I found that sharing the few toys I had helped me gain friends wherever I lived. I also showed my city friends how to hand-make slingshots, toy parachutes, firestarters, and other boy stuff. It seemed that sharing my knowledge was better than anything. This bit of knowledge would pay off later as a man. Men appreciate sharing what they know.
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Gen. Satterfield, after reading your blog for a week, I’m hooked. These letters you’ve written are absolutely beautiful. Your granddaughter is such a lucky girl. ❤️ I’m sure she loves you too. These letters are a window into your soul and that is over looked 👀 just too much. Thank you, sir! 🇺🇸
Wonderful letter, Gen. Satterfield, I hope and pray that your granddaughter is able to appreciate these letters. Too many young folks today are propagandized into hating their older generation that brought them up and instilled good values into them, and favor getting Marxist ideology instilled into themselves, and voluntarily so. 🤷♂️
Good point Elizabeth.
Another great letter. Thanks.
🕊️ Peace be with you General Satterfield 🕊️
— your letters are beautiful –
I’m just now catching up on my reading of these letters and I have to say that they are addictive. Thank you, Gen. Satterfield.
Gen my friend. Excellent article for the men. We men as older people say smell our breeches said words that hurt our mom. My brother Wayne did it more than I did growing up. We said we were sorry. Words spoken in haste can have longer time to heal. Her recent my brother Wayne said something to our mom made her cry. He called her Wed 11 January to say he was sorry.
I told this story several times that I about to share with you(bloggers). God gave us two ears and one mouth. Why is that? It’s because God wants us to hear twice before we speak once. By the time we hear in one ear the brain has the time to process it and when we speak the word or words will not hurting words.
God love ❤️ is like a mother’s love. One that is nourishing. Men; me included let’s be careful what we say to the mother’s in our life.
God bless you Eddie. 🙏🏻❤️
This is an example of why I’m a regular reader of this blog.
🇺🇸 yes 🇺🇸
Gen. Satterfield is an American Patriot and a good man. As a man today and his self-realizing good human.
This “letter” is one of my favorites and the reason is that Gen. Satterfield, as a little boy, a boy who has done things for himself and his friends and is clearly an ‘outside’ boy, is not seeing that his mother is more than a person but a person who has feelings for him and has helped him and many ways and yet is was not good to her (in this example) and he is repenting for it. That is a sign of serious mental growth. I am hoping to see how this pays off later as he moves through his childhood and into adulthood. I can see that he is working up to this.
Pow, nailed it, North of Austin (north of Austin TX?).
Another POWERFUL letter to Gen. Satterfield’s granddaughter. I hope these get publsihed and that Gen. S. does this soon.
Learning that others have feelings and that those feelings can affect you:
“Much to my surprise, I enjoyed the rhythm of sewing and the aesthetic color arrangement on the cloth. I’d done some crude paintings in my childhood, which had a similar feel. Surprisingly, I found my Mom working on my project one evening. She was just trying to help me. I didn’t realize it, and I was rude to her, saying she was “doing it all wrong.” Her stitching was genuinely excellent, of course, but not with the colors I wanted. I told her so. I failed to share my project with my Mom as a responsible young boy should have done. For the first time in my life, I made my Mom cry. I’d insulted her terribly, and my behavior showed how ungrateful, arrogant, spiteful, and bitter I was.” — Gen. Doug Satterfield
YES! The tragedy of growing up.
Sir, another great letter to “my granddaughter” and please keep them coming. I’ve been a long-time reader and commentor on this leadership blog and it has become my ‘go to’ place to help push myself to be a better person and to live a better life. If those of you who are reading this blog for the first time and want to get a jump start on the ‘thinking’ of Gen. Satterfield, then get his two books and read them. My favorite is “55 Rules for a Good Life” and I think that is the best one for those who are regular readers too.
Thank you, JT. Indeed, you’ve been one of my regular readers almost since the beginning.
Thank you, sir! 😀
Way to go, JT.
Just the kind of article that made my day. Mr. Satterfield, thank you sir for sharing a part of your life and writing to your granddaughter, who maybe one day will be appreciative of your childhood adventures, fears, accomplishments, and thinking. We all do. My thinking. I’m new here, so let me know your thoughts.
aiken, welcome to my daily blog.
thank you general
Yeah, I agree with you Jerome. Gen. Satterfield sure is making his points stick. He was upset that he upset his mother. That is a glimmering moment in his life and one that stuck with him his whole life. That is a maturation event. Today, we rarely see kids mature. They just become entitled and I blame both the school and helicopter parents (or more accurately) I blame single parents who are mostly narcissists.
We are growing a lot of narcissists.
Point well taken and true!!!
Pray for those who will go the way of the narcissist.
😊🙏🏻💫
Gen. Satterfield’s article goes way beyond sharing. It is also about him discovering that his mother (who he admits that he was very close to) also had feelings and that he could hurt her. That is a realization that he says made him start to grow up. For a boy, this is a significant awakening to adulthood and the move away from being just a little kid. I’m glad he shared that with us becuase most authors would not do so because it is an embarrassing admission of not being perfect.
“How to get your kid to share: An age-by-age guide”
https://www.todaysparent.com/toddler/a-guide-for-sharing/
This article is a bit “woke” but there are some good techniques, so pay attention.
The original article was published in 2008, where it was better. Only with the updating did it get woke. But after reading it, and ignoring the stupid comments, it can be read for actually some valuable help on the little things you can do to get kids to share.
Another article list this and is a good list:
Key points
Sharing helps children make and keep friends and cooperate with people.
Children get better at sharing as they learn to manage emotions and see other points of view.
Help children learn to share by praising sharing and giving them opportunities to practise.
https://raisingchildren.net.au/toddlers/behaviour/friends-siblings/sharing
Right, but there are hundreds of articles on this topic. Gen. Satterfield is laying out his version, which I put more value on because it is a specific case that worked out well. 👍
Gen. Satterfield is telling us about his growing up …. learning to share is one of those skills all kids must learn to adapt or else they will fail as adults.
Good comment, Pink Cloud.
WOW, numbero 48 !!!!!!!!
Will there be a special for the 50th? Or will there be even more after the 50th. The original message that Gen. Satterfield sent out (and is still there) was that he would write 365 letters. That is a big job. But I know he can do it. At this rate, it will take him 3 years to accomplish the task. 👀👀👀👀👀 But it will be a labor of love.
Yep Melo, but for now enjoying each of these. The question that several have asked is whether Gen. Satterfield will publish them like he did in “55 rules for a good life” or post them as a PDF on his blog.
We all await the decision. Love the letters to his granddaughter. ❤
Gen. Satterfield is DA MAN.
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Please everyone, get a copy of his books.
Please read my books:
“55 Rules for a Good Life,” on Amazon (link here). https://www.amazon.com/55-Rules-Good-Life-Responsibility/dp/1737915529/
“Our Longest Year in Iraq,” on Amazon (link here). https://www.amazon.com/Our-Longest-Year-Iraq-Construction/dp/1737915510/
Great question, and I hope that 365 is the real number of these letters.