[July 8, 2020] Guest blogger Laughing Monkey is new to my website. He is a bit different, as readers will quickly discover. Like other bloggers, he is a guest and must meet specific criteria, but he is allowed to write to his heart’s content. Laughing Monkey likes satire, so beware. He has a sardonic humor that permeates his message. I think you will love his style.
Days of the Week are Named after Viking Gods. Names are violent. Desperate, ugly people in the past were forced to make up names of the week. They didn’t have our superior intellect or advanced social skills. Horned Vikings were crude, so they named the days of the week after Norse gods. Why? Because their descendants might someday forget them. Naming something after a god, well, that’s tough to disregard. Right? If you do forget, you will be struck by lightning or by some horrible disease – so they thought. Otherwise, they might give you an ass wiping. Pestilence will stalk the lands of your children, and buildings will crumble to the ground. Our Viking ancestors just wanted to help you … you scrawny pathetic good-for-thing weakling.
Hollywood Actor Names. Names are racist. Betty White, Bruce Lee and Jet Li, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Denzel Washington, Cary Grant, and the list goes on forever. I leave it up to your smarts to figure out other names, but I will tell you why names are racist (for the intellectually challenged). First, Bruce Lee and Jet Li (the spelling is irrelevant) are named after Confederate General Robert E. Lee, who nearly won the U.S. Civil War to protect slavery; ditch the name boys. Arnold Schwarzenegger, oh how embarrassing to have the N-word in your racist name; change it now, Mr. “I’ll be back.” Denzel Washington and Cary Grant have the names of famous warmongers Generals George Washington and Ulysses S. Grant. The terror they inflicted upon innocents, and indigenous peoples will doom them to hell (well, if you believe in that religion, you know, stuff).
Hyper-masculine, tough guy Kim Jong Un Fails to Die. Names are sexist. The world mourned another setback as North Korean leader Kim Jong Un did not die as we were expecting. The divine dictator Kim Jong “He-Man” Un was to be replaced upon his death by his dictator-in-waiting, murderous sister Kim Yo Jong. Feminists everywhere are enraged as the clock was again setback for all women. Look, a strong woman had the chance to be head of state where she could imprison people seeking freedom, torture her enemies, and starve the nation at her will. The world asks, can a woman run the world’s largest concentration camp? I think, yes, but now we will never know.
The FBI Hires Milo Yiannopoulos to Protect Their Agents. Names are homophobic. Renowned gay conservative Milo Yiannopoulos was tagged to lead the security detail for all FBI agents stationed in the homophobic Southern U.S. “It’s a big job,” the FBI director said on CNN yesterday while not realizing the pun. Some of the FBI agents were not so sure. Some thought Milo might be a Nazi (you know, he’s a conservative!) and because he had suggested lovely flowers for FBI offices. Some saw references to tanks used by Germans in World War II – pansies, from panzers, OK. I heard through the grapevine that one of the agents was out in his garden but came screaming back to his wife in tears. When she queried him about his distress, he replied that “pansies are staring at me!” You can’t be more threatening to those “Nancy boys.” Homophobic, yep!
I demand that we change the names people are born into. When a name is violent, racist, sexist, or homophobic, it must be replaced. More is needed, however. My friends are destroying statues we don’t like. Please do what you want, but I’ll be with my comrades who destroy with righteous violence and prejudice. Next time I’ll name a few evil books we should throw into the bonfire. We do it because we are anti-fascists and we wear black shirts (sometimes brownshirts). We oppose all violence, racism, and homophobic activities. Change your name, or we will destroy you.
Funny, entertaining, …. I like your work Laughing Monkey.
Yes, and another reason to be attracted to Gen. Satterfield’s leadership blog. I like reading, also, this comment forum. The folks here give me new ideas and a different way of thinking. Sometimes not, but most of the time I’m in agreement with them.
Great article and funny. Laughing Monkey his below the belt. Ouch.
Good job of it, Laughing Monkey. Hang in there. I would like to read another article of your’s in the future sometime. Stay with us and in touch with Gen. Satterfield.
I too hope he stays on. Gen. Satterfield has done a great job finding a different kind of guest blogger. I do like satire, even if it can be a bit biting sometimes.
Yes, more is better in this case. Regardless of your political affiliation, we can all appreciate humor and on occasion a fierce argument conducted politely.
Good comment, Martin. Thanks.
### Excellent article, thanks! ####
I laughed out loud when I read this article. Made my day. I would like to see more like this with your guests. Sadako Red, Mr. Kennedy, and Army Vet are some of my favorites. Now, I can add Laughing Monkey (silly moniker) to the list.
I agree, these are the best parts of the website on leadership. The more, the better. Thanks all. I hope everyone had a great fourth of July in the states. Independence Day is important for many reasons and one we, as those who study leadership, should hold is that we know what to do with our freedom. It certainly is not burning down our communities, rioting, looting, and throwing things at cops. BLUE LIVES MATTER.
Well said, lydia. Thank you for standing up for the people across the world who believe that peace and security are the solution, not violence like we see.
Gen. Satterfield. Thanks for bringing on another Guest Blogger and this time with a bit of humor to help us get thru the day on a positive note. As Wendy pointed out below, comedians and their humor seem to be dying out. Comedy is one of the first things to go in a Communist nation (or socialist or fascist). They are the canaries in the coal mine. Looks like the USA is going the way of socialists and I can see it happening more and more. Our school teachers are infected with it. I fight it every day in the classroom. Thanks all for your support.
Mr. Asper, hang in there. The tide will turn as the social experimentation (and that is what it is) will eventually fail enough that people get fed up with it and throw it into the social trashcan. We can only hope this is sooner rather than later.
Yusaf, let’s do something that helps the process along. We can 1) tell the truth, 2) shoulder responsibility, 3) improve our personal lives, 4) help our neighbors and community, and 5) know what is “right” (read that as morally right) and do what is “right.” That is HOW we can start the trend in the correct direction.
TJ, good points. You are on the frontlines of an ideological battle for the soul of our youth. Develop their character and their skills. It’s a long slog but we will get through it.
Excellent article, wit and non-PC at the same time.
“Change your name, or we will destroy you.” Ha Ha Ha Ha…… I like the ending. End with a knife to the heart and with a smile. Great guest blogger, thank you Gen. Satterfield for introducing him to us.
Good one, LM. Thanks.
I too found Mr. Laughing Monkey a special breed of comedian. He is a critic but does it with humor; a skill that seems to be dying out. Decent article from the Atlantic Mag (biased but okay on this topic).
Hollywood Is Giving Up on Comedy: The global box office doesn’t reward American humor these days.
https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2014/07/the-completely-serious-decline-of-the-hollywood-comedy/373914/
I enjoyed it too. I wouldn’t mind reading more of Mr. L.M. on this topic. I do see where he likes to one-two punch leftist craziness. Too bad our commercial companies and politicians like to kowtow to them.
Karl, I fear we will see more of this before someone steps up to start a trend in the other direction but too many of them simply lack the moral courage to stand up.
So true, Karl. Thanks for your observation. Now, to do something about it other than writing comments in a leadership forum.
Gen. Satterfield, where did you find this guy. Great work, by the way, Laughing Monkey. I do appreciate your satire. Good luck with your writings and keep it up. It sure made may day.