[December 28, 2024] Like any military Company Commander, I had to put up with some strange, unexpected problems. When dealing with people, the only rule is that there are few rules. My Soldiers called this field exercise The “Crab” Exercise.
As we approach the end of this year, I thought a light-hearted article would be welcomed. One summer, I cannot remember which one while conducting a Field Training Exercise (FTX), we discovered that one of our unit mechanics had Pubic Lice, more often referred to as “the crabs.” Normally, this fact would have been the origin of a number of jokes and laughter.
Yes, indeed, we did laugh about it, much to the regret of that Soldier. But like all those things involving people, there’s more to this story.
It turns out that several of my Soldiers in the Support Platoon had disobeyed my orders not to hot bunk. Hot bunking is when people sleep in the same bed, not at the same time, but to save space and time. This can happen when shift work is occurring. Hot bunking is a health risk and should be discouraged.
Now, we didn’t have just one Soldier with a confirmed case of the crabs, but possibly anyone who had been near him. Our company Medic made the diagnosis: “Easy, peesy,” he said. We need to ensure that others aren’t infested. Anyone who has been in this tent needs to get checked out.”
At one point, I sat on the crab soldier’s bunk to talk with my Soldiers. This was an unintentional mistake. So, I decided to request a visit from the Battalion Surgeon to check out the entire unit so as not to draw attention to this platoon. I was the first to drop my pants for inspection. Note that this was happening in an open plain on a military reservation, so onlookers would not be a worry.
Each of us was given an OD green can of powder to kill any of the crabs. Reading the side of the can, it contained “Dichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane,” more commonly known as DDT. Flipping the can over to read the manufacture date, it read 01MAR1956. I threw the can into the trash and told all my Soldiers to do the same. I figured if they had caught the crabs out in the boonies with us, they could get some modern medicine in garrison.
We always remembered The “Crab” FTX.
Of course, the story doesn’t stop there. The crab-Soldier was married. And his wife didn’t have the crabs.
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Please read my books:
Sir, you’re killing me. Of course, there always has to be somebody who is not with the program. They knew in advance, well in advance, that the FTX was happening and this Soldier still did something he was never to do anytime or any place. Now, he gets caught. How poetic? Loving these insights into your military expereinces. Keep them coming our way.
Ron, yep I agree. I think this should be a new series. I’m sure there is more than enough events during Gen. Satterfield’s 40 years to come up with plenty of entertaining events to make us laugh. 😉
Sir, I nearly spit out my beer when I read this article. As I sit in my lazy boy chair down in my basement – man cave mostly finished – I like to read and one of the firsts is your website. Thanks for entertaining an old gentleman, if I could be so bold as to call myself such. I am a connoisseur of these c-rations. I once knew the exact location of each meal in the 12 meal case. They did contain cigarettes. But back to the crab story. We all had our field problems. Mine was my reaction to poison ivy. It loved me, and I hated it. No matter where I was, it would follow. Never had the crabs however.
Sir, you put a smile on my face. TY.
Just a little off topic but I wanted to note that since we are approaching the end of another year, 2024, and entering another but New Year, that we should thank Gen. Satterfield for his long-running blog. He publishes every day, except when he was in the hospital. Thank you, sir!!!!!
Yes, thanks Maureen. Thank you, Gen. S. 👍💥😎❤️💯✌️🥹🥸
God Bless our troops who put themselves in harm’s way so that we may live a secure and more comfortable life. 🙏
The “Crab” FTX . . . . . . can’t beat this story. 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀
This story says alot about soldiers in the field. Their humor is self-effacing, down-to-earth, and very pointed. They make fun of each other constantly and that is what makes their lives so much better. Either you are one of them or not. This crab FTX is an example of the making something “small” (pun intended) into a bigger story by retelling and making fun of the crab-soldier. To be there and to have experienced this, makes them closer to one another and more like to operate effectively as a team.
Eye Cat, nailed it. And, Gen. Satterfield has written of this before many time. He worked on the railroad before going into the Army. And that is where he had similar experiences to this one in that there is a low but good form of humor there. To be one of these workers/soldiers is to be the lowest paid but often the best place to be. This is what I tell my high school class kids and they are always asking me about this life of hard work and humor.
💥💥💥💥 more good articles.
Good story. Made me laugh and I was never in the army.