The Hardest Lesson to Follow

[April 21, 2025]  I was asked about the “55 rules” in my book on which one I personally find the hardest to follow. Now that is a good question because the answer can give insight into the person answering.

The hardest one for me is to tell the truth. I’m not alone with this answer. Dr. Jordan Peterson, on whose lectures about the psychology of man, was also asked this question and gave the same answer.

“The hardest one is to tell the truth, or at least not to lie.”  – Dr. Jordan Peterson

Indeed, to tell the truth is a constant challenge because it’s easy to use our speech in such a way that it pays off in the short term. Also, it’s often difficult to deal with the conflict that’s inevitable if we try to do things in a straightforward manner.

To lie produces short term peace but only the truth can create long term peace. Lying is a great temptation akin to taking drugs to relieve pain, and where we know that in the distant and unknown future, the consequence will be addiction. And the more we lie, the stronger the addiction will be.

I asked many of my closest military colleagues this identical question and they all answered the same as I did. And we are surely no different than others in our lives, whether a corporate executive, a bricklayer, a stay-at-home mom, or a teenager working at flipping burgers.

“Never lie… And do not needlessly tolerate those who do. The most fundamental bond among humans since the beginning of time is trust. When we lie … we break that bond. We are betraying others, and we are corrupting ourselves in the process …” — 55 Rules for a Good Life, Rule 3, Doug Satterfield

Telling the truth requires practice, practice, and more practice.  It is easy to slip up.  We are often actively encouraged to lie, cheat, and steal by friends, family, at school, and at work.  Sometimes we are taught how to do it and “get away with it.”  You can even lie to yourself that you are doing yourself a big favor.

Or it’s a way to retaliate against an unfair world.  But, in the long run, you can never get away with it.  Moreover, you will pay a high price.  Don’t do it.  You will garner more respect for yourself by telling the truth, and people will go to you as someone they can trust.  Tell the truth and do so even when you know that it will harm you.

Friedrich Nietzsche once said that a man’s worth is determined by how much truth he can tolerate.  Deception, flattering, lying and cheating, talking behind the back, posing, living in borrowed splendor, and taking on a false role; are what a good person is expected to reject outright.

Being a good person is to tell the truth, assert yourself ethically, and treat people with respect and care based on truth.  This place is where the most incredible people are found. Never, ever lie; your good life depends upon it.

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Please read my books:

1. “55 Rules for a Good Life,” on Amazon (link here).
2. “Our Longest Year in Iraq,” on Amazon (link here).