[September 7, 2022] Many years ago, when the sitcom Friends (1994-2004) came out. It was one of those shows you could sit back and say, “Yeah, they are just like me.” In the show, the six actors were good friends; the right kind of friends. They were the kind of friends you could rely upon, with whom you could tell your deepest secrets and who were there always when you needed them.
A recent article by Rob Henderson titled “On Rich Friends and Poor Friends” has done us a favor by writing about the influence friends have on us. He starts with the fundamental question, “Is making the right kind of friends the secret to upward mobility?” I would have asked a different question, but I like how he begins.
“Did having friends who—like me—grew up in poor and dysfunctional environments lead me to make bad decisions in my own early life? And if I had remained friends only with my childhood cohort would I remain poor?”
Now that is certainly a set of excellent questions to ponder. Many of my closest friends from childhood did just fine. They married, had children, had good jobs, and are now retired, and grandchildren are part of their day. Yes, they positively influenced me, and I’m glad for our friendships.
Henderson quotes from Robin Dunbar’s book, “Friends: Understanding the Power of our Most Important Relationships.”1 xx
Most friendships are “fickle things,” he writes but “special friendships are very few in number.” They are “the ones with whom we shared the ups and downs and traumas of early adult life, whose advice we sought in those moments of deep crisis, the ones we sat up with late into the night,” he says. “It’s as though this small number of special friendships are carved in stone into our psyches precisely because we engaged in such intense, emotionally passionate interactions.”
There is an important lesson here. Choose your friends wisely. Friends are those you can tell bad news to and won’t lecture you, belittle you, or try to one-up you by telling you something bad happened to them. Friends are also those you can tell good news to; they will be genuinely happy for you and not jealous.
On occasion, I still watch the show Friends. Looking back now, more than 25 years, I am different than those on the show. However, I was never like those on the show. I was never happy-go-lucky. My life, like others, was about to take off in another direction. One that involved the U.S. military and finding that my meaning in life meant adopting responsibility.
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Please read my new book, “Our Longest Year in Iraq,” on Amazon (link here).
Friends matter, good friends matter more.
Thank you again, Gen. Satterfield for another on-target article, this time about friendship. I would like for you to write more about ‘friendship’ and what is can do for us. Great subject. Great ideas of yours will make it a valuable tool for those of us interested in leadership.
This is exactly why I’ve become a fan of this leadership website by Gen. Satterfield.
Robin Dunbar’s book, “Friends: Understanding the Power of our Most Important Relationships.”
Loved today’s article, Gen. Satterfield. What is next on your agenda?
Gen. Satterfield has a new book coming out soon. I hope he can give us an update.
Desert Cactus, correct. My new book will be out sometime in the next few weeks. The title is “55 Rules for a Good Life.” Much of what I’ve written on my blog over the past few months you can see in the book.
Wow, cool ❤❤❤❤❤ Make sure you let us know when it hits the stands.
Great news, Gen. Satterfield.
I’m sure your new book will be well received. I look forward to ordering my copy right away. “55 Rules for a Good Life.” Wow Wow Wow
Yep, WOW. With Gen. Satterfield’s experience, I suspect the book will be the BEST.
BIG LESSON:
There is an important lesson here. Choose your friends wisely. Friends are those you can tell bad news to and won’t lecture you, belittle you, or try to one-up you by telling you something bad happened to them. Friends are also those you can tell good news to; they will be genuinely happy for you and not jealous.
Normally I would say that Gen. Satterfield is spot on with his article but today I’m not so sure. I don’t think friends have that much of an impact. That is why I believe that one’s character matters more. Yeah, that is why I keep working on focusing my efforts to a higher goal (Gen. Satterfield would say ‘noble’ goal). Otherwise I’m happy with the article.
Exactly, that is why this blog is about “truth and the pursuit of responsibility.” Not the pursuit of happiness. Happiness is a by-product, not a goal.
Excellent article. Made me think about the friends I have.
😊 Welcome back, Gen. Satterfield. Great article today. Pay attention to who your friends are and you will do well in life.
Yes, and why? Because they will correct your stupid, lazy, resentful, nutty behavior. Or u can b a liberal and “let it all hang out.”
Got that right ……. 😎😎😎😎😎 General Satterfield is all over it.
Tom and Bill, thanks for your insight. And, Gen. S. too. This is exactly why I keep coming back to this website on leadership. And, I bought Gen. S’s book, “Our Longest Year in Iraq.” Great book and worthy of buying more for my kids to read. The book is PG rated. No violence and the like that you might find in a book on war.
Right Bryan and here is the link to get the book: https://www.amazon.com/Our-Longest-Year-Iraq-Construction/dp/1737915510/