[July 18, 2024] Well folks, it’s been a serious week, so we can now turn our attention to some biting humor to make us laugh. The Babylon Bee, my favorite humor site, has done themselves proud with humor on the latest government goofs. I like this one the best “Think Women Can’t Do The Job? Here are 12 Benefits Of Lady Secret Service Agents.”
“Female Secret Service agents have caught a lot of backhanded remarks as the country has reacted to the recent shooting of Donald Trump. Some people even seem to think having Lady Secret Service agents might not be the best idea in every situation. That’s absolute hogwash!”
- They can hold up their little makeup mirror thingies to reflect the sun into the eyes of an assassin and blind him: He’ll never see it coming.
- They have no qualms about recklessly running over curbs or pedestrians while driving the getaway car: They’ll do this during normal motorcades too, though, so it’s a bit of a double-edged sword.
- They have experience changing diapers: (Biden security detail only)
- They’ll always make sure that everyone is safe and that no one gets hurt by standing on a slightly inclined roof: Safety comes first!
- They can do that cool move where the boy Secret Service agents lift them above their heads like cheerleaders to provide even more shielding to the president: Rah! Rah! Rah!
- Their high heels double as sharp stabby weapons: We’ve seen this in the movies.
- It’s very easy for the President to reach over their short bodies to shake hands with the crowd: So convenient!
- They are extremely ferocious and deadly at about the same time each month: You’ll be well protected, as long as you remain on their good side.
- You only need to pay them 78% of what a male Secret Service agent makes: Who says the government doesn’t care about saving money?
- Their hair ties can double as a tourniquet in an emergency: As long as you can convince them to mess up their ponytails.
- They’re great at kissing boo-boos: Nothing helps a bullet wound like a nice kiss to make it all better.
- They are every bit as strong and capable as men: Netflix films have proven this once and for all.
Here are some runner up articles. Just for fun, of course:
- ‘Let’s Settle This At The Ballot Box,’ Says Party That Tried To Kick Trump Off Ballots
- Political Analysts Predict Winner Of The Presidential Race Will Probably Be The One Who Survives Till November
- In Lieu Of Raise, Pastor Given A Generous 3 Extra Hours Of Vacation
- Woman Worried Her Eyebrows Aren’t Stupid Enough
- Secret Service Beefs Up Trump’s Security With Squad Of Blind Midgets
I could go on but no one would care. Thanks for reading this article of humor today.
—————
Please read my books:
Good article my friend. Laugher is good medicine for the soul. It relax the mind body and soul. We often hear the term “Humor Me ” . So today it ok to smile you 😊 your will be better. However there is a negative side of Laugher too. I call it “Laughing at someone else expense”.
I love the Babylon Bee and their satire!
Wow, very good humor and I’m a big fan of the Babylon Bee. I love their satire the most.
Great humor by the Babylon Bee. I’m signing up to be a member. I recommend we all do that and i will thank Gen. Satterfield for highlighting them.
My favorite is #12. They are every bit as strong and capable as men: Netflix films have proven this once and for all.
WHAT? That is what we’ve been told over and over and over by the wokeist movies yet, and sooooo ‘powerful’ women are they can do anything a man can do and better. Right? RIGHT? If you disagree, I’ll have to report you to the CIA/FBI/DOJ/DHS/whatever to have you arrested and thrown in jail. Oh wait, that would be the Russian way of getting rid of dissidents. But this is Joe Biden’s America where we cannot allow humor or making fun of “us” or “him.” Don’t assume he is a he.
You’re killing me, Liz. ROFL. ROFL. ROFL. LOL LOL LOL , ,,,,,,,, yep, I know those acronyms too.
OUCH, I love it.
We can’t do anything about the obvious and complete failure of the Secret Service to protect Donald Trump, but we can make fun of the munchkins. Patriots can come together on this one. The humorless Leftists/Progressives/Liberals/Democrats/or whatever the communists are calling themselves today are always on the run to try and prove to the world that they are relevant. They are not. Thanks for the dose of humor.
🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸
Got that right, Patriot Wife. The munchkin female secret service agents were nowhere to be seen at the Republican National Convention this week. I wonder why?
They were getting their hair done. Or maybe they were getting their hair washed that evening so they couldn’t go out and do their jobs. Maybe someone should have told the Secret Service Director “cheetos” Kim Cheatle that these female agents can’t go out too late. Thanks all. Good humor is priceless and fun to make fun of the government when it screws up, and esp. when they refuse to admit mistakes of a huge magnitude were made.
THe list by Babylon Bee is genius level humor.
🤣🤣🤣 Warning Humor 🤣🤣🤣
Humor about those “female” secret service agents! Are you sure, Gen. Satterfield, that they are female? Are you making an assumption? You know what assumptions do. They make an ass out of you and me.
—
Good Habits #1: Never Assume Anything
https://www.theleadermaker.com/good-habits-1-never-assume-anything/
“An old saying that I heard repeatedly in the military was, “assumptions makes an ass out of you and me.” The drill sergeants actually drew it on the chalk board for us trainees: ass|u|me. They seared it into our brains … so to speak. The saying has been around for a while and the originator of the phrase is probably unknown. The point was that when people make assumptions, they are invariably wrong. In war when assumptions are made, and not verified, they are likely to get you killed. Those drill sergeants, with experience in Vietnam, knew what they were talking about because we heard the many stories of life and death.” – Gen. Doug Satterfield. I remembered this article as well, Cow Blue, thanks for the reminder. 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
Thanks Cow Blue, I re-read this article just for fun. Tomorrow, it would be published 10 years ago exactly. ❤ Loving Gen. Satterfield’s articles.