We See Our Lives Through Stories

By | December 4, 2024

[December 4, 2024]  There have been some serious discussions in academia, particularly among psychologists, that we see our lives through stories. We can say, with some certainty, that those stories have undergone inspection and reinforcement by people who were part of that story and significant others in our lives.  This helps ensure that any particular story is believable, detailed, and composed of a proper balance of facts and emotions.

During my long-running, now complete series of 100 letters titled, “Letters to My Granddaughter,” I mostly wrote about specific, time-limited events that stood out and also carried a strong emotional element. Dr. Jordan Peterson has done much work in this area and believes that every story involves a variety of interpretive frameworks, but only a few of those interpretations hold up to inspection.

If I read Dr. Peterson correctly, he is saying that only a few interpretations can survive, undergoing improvement and detailed expansion, but only so much as others and you voluntarily agree. These improvements are time-tested over a long period. This would mean that our life stories are a form of an ongoing social contract with others. I think this supports my idea that we remember our lives best through stories, some small and unimportant, others big.

I’m certainly oversimplifying Dr. Peterson, but I can still agree with him that these life stories get better with time because they undergo a continuous interactive process that helps the story emerge. This is not unlike how our culture affects what is good or bad. The “bad” is rejected, and the good is kept and improved upon.

These life stories have a productive staying power, which can be seen by the frequency of their retelling and the strength to hold our attention. Therefore, the stories are closer to reality and a more sophisticated reflection of the intellectual state of those who were part of them and those people we tell those stories to.

Some people will say that we see the world through a narrative about reality (others strongly disagree), and I believe that to be true. But not just any narrative. Each story is constrained by empirical reality and the interpretation and intervention of others. In other words, the narratives must withstand competition, where only a few will survive.

In my Introduction to these letters to my granddaughter, I give two reasons for writing the letters (my life’s stories). First, I state that these letters will “provide her with ideas and ways of living that guarantee a proper life.” Second, they will give her a pathway to adventure that makes one’s life worth living. The letters are about me, but most crucially, they are about learning how me educating her on how to voluntarily live with her eyes wide open.

So, do we actually see our lives through stories?  Yes, we do. And we also give those stories life in presenting them to our granddaughters.

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Note: Thumbnail from the audio version of “Retelling the Stories of Our Lives” by David Denborough.

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Please read my books:

  1. “55 Rules for a Good Life,” on Amazon (link here).
  2. “Our Longest Year in Iraq,” on Amazon (link here).
Author: Douglas R. Satterfield

Hello. I provide one article every day. My writings are influenced by great thinkers such as Friedrich Nietzsche, Karl Jung, Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, Jean Piaget, Erich Neumann, and Jordan Peterson, whose insight and brilliance have gotten millions worldwide to think about improving ourselves. Thank you for reading my blog.

15 thoughts on “We See Our Lives Through Stories

  1. rjsmithers

    Let us not forget that most or nearly all of us were raised on stories told to us by our parents, grandparents, or another relative, likely older. And I’m sure you may remember how much you hung your attention on every single word. We were not just attracted to each story but we were educated on how to act or to not act depending upon the circumstances outlined in the story. That’s why I quickly learn to distinguish between good and terrible stories. I was a kind of connoisseur of stories. And that’s my life.

    Reply
    1. Wesley Brown

      Pastor Jim, I would put forth a possible crazy idea that prayer is a sort of or kind of storytelling but to God. We tell our story and ask for forgiveness of our sins and to help others in their struggles before God. And we have heard of humans praying and telling of stories since before written history. I hope that i am not being blasphemous by making this comparison/ link and so forgive me if I’ve done so. Thanks all and please have a Merry Christmas and take the time to be with family and friends.

      Reply
        1. Valkerie

          Wesley excellent point because those tales told in the Bible existed long before the Bible was consolidated and printed. There had to be some way of transmitting that information.

          Reply
  2. Chide

    yes sir
    a great story is great
    i learn much here
    general satterfield has a story to tell and i listen to him

    Reply
    1. JT Patterson

      Dell, correct. And I think that once they begin to feel comfortable with their new found capability, they start to use it to affect their parents and friends behaviors. Some of the most popular folks on the planet are also the very best storytellers. I have a good friend who is now 22 years old and is making good money by being a stand up comic. He is a fast learner and does gigs in local talent shoes around north Chicago. The audiences just love him. He has a real talent to emphasize the entertaining part of a story.

      Reply
  3. Liz at Home

    And as expected, another idea that both Gen.. Satterfield and Dr. Peterson regularly remind us. But, if we are paying attention, even a child knows it. Who wants a bedtime story read to them? Kids!

    Reply
    1. Jerome Smith

      “Tell a story and people will listen; give them a bunch of facts, and they will run away. The power of storytelling, especially for an experienced leader, is arguably one of the most effective means to communicate a message.” — Gen. Doug Satterfield

      Reply
      1. Jake Tapper, Jr.

        Thanks guys. One of the best quotes for a leader to live by.

        Reply
      2. Wild Bill

        😀😀😀😀
        Gen. Satterfield is da best.
        😀😀😀😀
        Some advice for new readers. Get a copy of his books and give them as Christmas gifts. None of you will regret that decision.

        Reply
  4. Lesley

    From what I’ve read here in Gen. Satterfield’s website, I can see where he is coming from. Humans, since the dawn of time, have lived by telling stories. I remember an article written here by Gen. Satterfield that one of the skills a leader must have is the ability to tell a story that is entertaining and informative. Both. Thank you sir, for again reinforcing that vey point.

    Reply

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