What I Learned from Interviewing 1,000 Women

[September 22, 2024]  There’s an old adage for men that says if they want to learn about relationships with women, then don’t take advice from women.  With that in mind, today, I’m going to highlight some of the ideas of Pearl Davis (see her ideas, too in earlier posts).  She recently interviewed 1,000 women over a year and told us that she was surprised by the results.

So, what did she learn from these interviews?   Before we get started, note that Pearl believes these women were totally honest but that their words also did not align with their behaviors.  “They lie to themselves about their relationships,” and that is why we have a hard time figuring out what women really want in life.  A short video of her speaking on this and her methodology can be found at this link here.

1. Women love a man that cheats, or that can cheat [in their relationship with women]. Pearl says that she didn’t believe this was true, but during the interviews, she attempts to drill down into the specifics.  For example, she starts by asking if they’ve ever been cheated on.  About 70% of the women admit to being cheated on.  Her follow-up question was, “Did you leave, or did you stay when you found out?”  Pearl says that 80% of those women stayed in the relationship.  She also discovered that if the women left the cheating man, they left him when those men stopped cheating.  She actually did a show titled Women Like Being Cheated On.
2. People lie to themselves to the point that they believe it’s true. Pearl talks about women in the interview who were single mothers who truly believed they were traditional women.  She asks, “How can you be a traditional woman and a single mother?  Those don’t really go hand in hand.”  She believes that women often virtue signal but you have to watch what they do.
3. Out of a thousand women, three of them would be “traditional women.” Pearl claims that Conservatives believe that to find a traditional woman, go to church and find a good woman there.  But when she interviewed these women, they were of all religions, and that didn’t seem to make a difference.  Pearl admits to us that she is not a traditional woman but that she can observe what makes someone traditional and that a traditional woman is someone who prioritizes their family over their career above all costs.
4. Very few women can process information without taking it personally. She uses an interesting example.  She once tweeted that 25-year-old women are better looking than 35-year-old women.  She got a lot of pushback.  Married mothers were tweeting her their selfies, trying to prove to Pearl (some random woman on the Internet) that they were still “hot.”
5. Most women have an ex that they go back to in between breakups. Pearl is warning us guys on this one.
6. Women who are saying that they have changed or become something, it’s more that they are trying to convince themselves. Pearl would hear from these women that they “become more feminine.”  She found that women who were femininity coaches tended not to be feminine at all.  “I would find they would be the most masculine ones.”
7. Overwhelmingly, women who divorced their husbands gave the excuse that they ‘outgrew’ him. That was the number one reason.  When Pearl dug into the reasons, asking about whether their wives were abused, there was nothing there to trigger a divorce.
8. Most women value their own happiness above their children. And this is an extension of #7 that these women have no good reasons, generally, to divorce their husbands.
9. As soon as women began getting jobs, they started divorcing their husbands. She asks do you want someone to be with you who doesn’t want to be there?  Some of these wives are so miserable that they nag on their husbands endlessly.
10. Marriage and family is not the answer. Pearl originally thought that marriage was the solution to a lot of people’s problems – traditionalism.  She discovered that marriage for men today is overwhelmingly a negative experience.  For example, over 80% of their wives gained 20 pounds or more in the first five years of marriage.  The average length of marriage is eight years.  Men don’t really get a lot out of the marriage, and in divorce, they often lose everything, but it is the wives who are leaving their husbands.

Pearl also makes some observations of men that you can find in the video, but I’ve not included.  She discovered that men don’t notice that women are chubby if they have big boobs.  Well, I’m not so sure about that, but I’ll go with Pearl’s conclusions.

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Please read my books:

1. “55 Rules for a Good Life,” on Amazon (link here).
2. “Our Longest Year in Iraq,” on Amazon (link here).