[March 8, 2020] The Company Commander at my first unit in the U.S. Army was a jerk. The story is common; the world revolved around him, he was smarter, more reliable, better looking than the rest of us (at least he thought so), and he was “going places” in the Army. When the boss is a jerk, our lives at work can be hell. I know I’ve been there many times.
Later this month, on March 29th, we will be celebrating National Vietnam War Veterans Day.1 My commander was a Vietnam Vet, and he used that distinction to bludgeon us with it regularly. He and his peers had been treated disgustingly by American society at the time. Although this might explain his thinking about his subordinates, a good leader will never let that come between them and inexperienced troops. He did, and his behavior made for a challenging year I spent in his unit.
Here are some of the lessons I learned by working with several jerks during my career in the U.S. Army:
- Don’t become a jerk yourself. Learn from them and promise yourself you will not be like them.
- Don’t burn your bridges by an emotional response. You could get fired or thrown out of the military. Remember that you are also responsible for others that work there.
- Maximize your exposure to the jerk boss. Most so-called self-help sites recommend reducing contact with the jerk due to the apparent risks, but being around them more takes the pressure off others and gives you a chance to learn more about where the boss is coming from.
- Make sure you are not the stimulus for making the boss more of a jerk. Are you doing your job with minimal supervision? Are you egging the jerk about with office games? If so, stop it. Others are going to suffer.
- Don’t openly complain about your boss, write about them in emails, discuss at the water cooler, or bypass your boss by going to his boss. Complaining will only generate a higher level of toxicity.
- Know what you’re talking about. Know your job and know it well. Be sure you have an elevator speech about what you do and why always in your hip-pocket. Your boss has probably already called upon you to do a job without adequate preparation.
- Be fair, open, and honest – always. Develop a reputation for being upfront about what happens, and don’t shy away from taking the blame if you are genuinely at fault.
- Make the jerk boss’ life easier. Now that is easier said than done, but bad bosses get worse under pressure. Help them when you can and give them the credit for a job well done.
One of the many pieces of advice my wife gave me when going to a new unit in the U.S. Army was to be conscious of not showing up as a jerk. I’m not so sure she saw something in me that was a little off-center, but it worked. My initial task was to do my best to be likable. Good start!
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Great article.
Wow, nice article that hits home.
It’s been a long time since I had a jerk as a boss but it does seem to happen to everybody at one time or another. That is why we should all be prepared to exist ‘within’ that system and to learn how to deal with it. There are many methods and I won’t go into them here but you can find them out on the Internet (kind of like a self-help series). Thanks Gen. Satterfield for another wonderful, practical blog post.
But, but, we all have had that experience. Those ‘jerk bosses’ are the ones with some degree of malevolence in their hearts and must be watched carefully, least they do something seriously damaging.
Nice article today, Gen. Satterfield. Thx!
Springtime is in the air and the weather is getting better (at least for me in New York City). However, when I used to work in the Bronx (yes, that same Bronx you hear about), I had a jerk who worked with me. Our boss was okay but the jerk employee made it difficult for us all. I’m glad one day when he didn’t come in and never showed up again. We found out later that some of his enemies beat him up and told him to never come back to the neighborhood. Interesting end for a jerk and a lesson for us all.
Lesson, be likable, not a jerk.
Loved today’s leader article by you Gen. Satterfield. I’m enjoying my morning cup of hot tea and reading to relax me before a long day.
Another spot-on article. This one is one I especially liked because you are dealing with an everyday occurrence when folks get themselves into a workplace that lacks the basic respect that should be afforded us. Now, I don’t mean that I want something simply because I exist and show up but because that is how you get people to work harder, faster, and more productively.
Well said, JT. ?
Pretty good article on your boss is a jerk.
“10 Signs your Boss is a Jerk (and what to do about it)”
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/10-signs-your-boss-jerk-what-do-jon-rennie
Good article, thanks Greg.
“Work, work, work; Big pile of it and the boss is a jerk; I just want to disappear; Wishin’ I was somewhere other than here.” ~ Jimmy Buffett – License to Chill
Good article, thank you Gen. Satterfield. A pleasure to always return to your leadership blog.
Pow, got that one right. Boy, did I ever have a bunch of ‘jerks’ as my bosses in the past. Plenty of bad times with them but from a few I did learn something good. That was to not treat people badly, especially when treating them good will only produce a win-win scenario.
Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. Good job Joe on pointing out that, yes, we can learn from a bad, toxic boss. Sometimes they actually know what they are doing.
Good point Joe.
Thanks Yusaf. I’d been thinking about this for some time, now. Reading Gen. Satterfield’s posts here I got to thinking that there is always something to gain and learn regardless of the good or bad environment at work.
Jerks are a part of life. I’m entertained by taking them down a notch. Remember they only have as much power over you as you let them. That is why getting a good education is so important.