[September 1, 2022] Humans are not after a utopia. We are built to deal with the world and with reality. We want a challenge. And the reason is that a challenge fortifies you. You don’t want to be safe; you want to be strong. You get strong by taking on difficult challenges.
Have a vision for your destiny in the world and be voluntarily willing to take the slings and arrows of fate. That way, you will make yourself stronger. And, you might fail, and fortune might do you in. But it’s your best bet. People have extracted unbelievable successes out of catastrophic failures.
“Put me in, coach! I’m ready to play!” – song Centerfield by John Fogerty
Life is limited by mortality, but that doesn’t mean you don’t get out there and contend. And you develop by contending and minimizing the net amount of suffering in the world.
Life is difficult, and you cannot protect your children. What you can do is prepare them. You can prepare them to be strong, courageous, truthful, resilient, and reciprocal with their interactions with other people. That means you equip them for what life will be, which is, at a minimum, a series of difficult challenges.
A resilient person is capable of standing up to things in the face of fear and moving forward voluntarily and convinced of their own competence and ability to prevail. This means the primary goal as a parent – apart from helping your child’s social desirability – is to encourage your children and instill a sense of courage in the face of difficulties and not to protect them.
We don’t even want to be protected from those difficulties because a significant part of life and its meaning is the challenge that comes with confronting difficulties.
By voluntarily exposing yourself to the outside world, you put different demands on yourself. Doing so manifests new elements of you. Push yourself into an adventure. Take yourself out of where you are now – the one that is bound to you – and go somewhere dark and dangerous. And, while you do that, you have adventures; they toughen you and pull more out of you. That adventure shows you what is best in you.
Across your lifetime, you want to become continually more than you are, to see what you could be. And only by knowing that you are not what you could be and taking responsibility for that, and committing yourself, like body and soul, to attain that ideal.
The world is harsh; it’s full of tragedy and suffering. What emerges from that is a remarkable appreciation for what human beings are capable of. We can be unbelievably resilient and capable creatures.
And we do not have any conception of our upper limits. Those challenges and tragedies mold your character and make you better than you could ever have conceived.
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Please read my new book, “Our Longest Year in Iraq,” on Amazon (link here).
Yep, life is difficult so best to learn to deal with it. Otherwise, you will not survive. It many not be survival of the fittest, but you sure need to have your sh$$ together.
Ken, you and others have reinforced the point, so I won’t. But I will say that there is a long-running theme in our school systems to teach weakness. Teach them to hide, teach them to hunker down or run away from danger instead of standing up straight and facing it head on. That is wrong for schools and it does not work.
“This means the primary goal as a parent – apart from helping your child’s social desirability – is to encourage your children and instill a sense of courage in the face of difficulties and not to protect them.” ,,,,, Gen. Satterfield. Nuff said!
The state will make you safe.
Commie Red, I believe that Gen. Satterfield has made the point well that you cannot protect people always. Teach them to be strong and that works much better. The “state” as you claim only makes people weak and that is what socialist and communist nations do, they make us weak so we will OBEY them. That is not freedom, it is tyranny.
Greek Senator is right. Communism does not work. Simple. “Protecting” people has its limits and should never come from the State.
That is why “helicopter parenting” is a failure as a way to raise kids. Wrap them in [figuratively] bubble wrap and something will always get by that protective barrier. Teach them to be strong, focused, and honest, they will thrive. That is what American is about, not communism or the other socialist-inspired isms.
Wow, nailed it American Girl. 👍
Gen. Satterfield, thank you for what you are doing with your leadership website. I enjoy it each day. I am a regular on these pages and have and continue to recommend you site to others. Keep up the effort you are making here and I support you in the small change in direction you’ve taken to get us to know better the interworkings of great leadership.
Gen. S. , once again you’ve nailed it. We all want to be “safe” but it can come with a price. And, that price may be our freedom or eventual destruction from our own weakness.
Good article, and I too enjoyed it Willie. Good to see you commenting again.
Centerfield, one of my favorite songs.
Just a thought…… I went to the store down the street yesterday and saw a number of young teenagers harassing an old woman. I walked up and told them to get lost or I’d whack them a good one. The called me names and ran off. These young men pray on the weak. Like Gen. Satterfield says, protect the weak and innocent. I do. I’m 6’3″ and 250 lbs. They would find it hard to take me on. That is why better to be strong than safe. Safe doesn’t get you anything.
Thank you Ronny for what you did. The best man is a dangerous man. Where did I hear that? Oh yeah, from Gen. Satterfield. https://www.theleadermaker.com/the-best-man-is-a-very-dangerous-man/ 😎
Classic Gen. Satterfield in this article. Just what we need. Focus on getting your act together first, before you whine about someone else.
Be safe … ha ha ha h a haaaaa best joke ever!
Me too, LOL. 👍 Good to see you still on Gen. Satterfield’s leadership website. One of the best sites out there. Oh, “Our Longest Year in Iraq” is a best seller. Get your copy and leave a review. Thanks. Oh, I don’t get a cut; I just loved the book.
Agree. If something is good, call it out.
Got my copy of Gen. Satterfield’s book and love it as well.
… and this is what our schools are trying to do. Their comment, “safe and respect.” You can’t have safety all the time (other than some simple common sensical efforts). Making people strong is the real answer and our schools are doing the opposite.